


Wordless, Soundless

by Akiko_Natsuko



Series: McHanzo [3]
Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Deaf, Deaf Character, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Family, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Missions Gone Wrong, Muteness, Near Death, Nightmares, Past Torture, Past Violence, Reconciliation, Secrets, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Acceptance, Serious Injuries, Slow Burn, Team as Family, Understanding
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-11-16
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-08-20 04:50:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 25,552
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16549235
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Akiko_Natsuko/pseuds/Akiko_Natsuko
Summary: It's McCree who notices the truth behind Hanzo's wordless existence, the memories of his own soundless pastmaking it impossible to miss the signs, and with time they both find peace in their shared silence.





	1. Chapter 1

    McCree had developed a new habit, a new obsession if he was completely honest with himself, and that was watching their newest recruit - Hanzo Shimada. Given their small numbers at the moment, it was unsurprising that a new arrival was going to be the centre of attention, especially when that person came with a background like Hanzo’s and he knew that was the reason why everyone else was keeping a close eye on the archer, especially when he was around Genji. He also knew that was the reason why people were taking offence over the fact that Hanzo rarely interacted with any of them, remaining silent even when they tried to draw him into conversation although the gunslinger could tell that he was always listening…at first, he’d been inclined to agree with them, especially when his own efforts at befriending the archer had been brushed off with silence. But that had changed after their first mission together…

_The sight of an arrow protruding from the Talon agent looming behind him made him blink, faltering for a moment as he watched the man attempt to reach for the arrow before collapsing as though his strings had been cut. McCree wasted no time in checking if he was dead, he’d seen Hanzo’s work in the practice range enough to know that the archer always went for kill-shots. Instead he lifted his head and tipped his head at the shadowy figure on the top of the nearby building. Grinning to himself as imagined the unimpressed glare that had probably greeted his gesture, before turning and firing, satisfied to hear a dull thud. There had been more agents that they’d been expecting, but otherwise, the mission seemed to be going well, and he had to admit that although Hanzo was still refusing to reply over the communicator, they did make a good team._

_He had just cleared the last of the guards from around the weapons depot they were attempting to take control of when he caught a flash of light out of the corner of his eye. Instinctively he ducked before freezing as he heard the explosion in the distance, wincing at the noise and briefly cupping his ears, fingers brushing metal for a moment the temptation to block out the noise nearly overwhelming. However, that thought died a quick death as a dull rumble followed the sound of the explosion, his eyes widening with alarm as he whirled, heart in his mouth as he spotted the building that Hanzo had been using as a vantage point crumbling. He spares the depot a brief glance, cursing under his breath as he turns and bolts back in the other direction not even wasting time with his communicator._

_The dust is still settling when he reaches it, and for one, long heart-stopping moment all he can see is rubble and dust, his stomach doing unpleasant flip-flops at the thought of the archer being buried beneath it. His hand is inching towards the communicator to call for back-up when he detects movement, instinctively shifting towards it with his gun at the ready, eyes widening as Hanzo staggers out of the mess, coughing and unsteady on his feet._

_“Hanzo!” He’s moving forward, relief flooding him. Only for it to die a swift death when Hanzo stumbles, trying and failing to catch himself, lunging forward just in time to catch the archer. There’s a suspicious warmth against his hand, and he curses, unsurprised to find blood on his fingers when he pulls back to check. And he feels Hanzo jerk when he reaches round to examine the injury, hissing sympathetically when he feels the shard of rock embedded in the other’s side. “Shit, hang on.” Damn it, he’s not equipped for this, but Hanzo is slumping against, and he opens his mouth to encourage him to stay awake, only to falter as it dawns on him that despite the pain he must’ve caused the other man, Hanzo has yet to make a sound beyond the ragged breathing currently tickling his skin. “Hanzo…?”_

_Silence greeted his query, but dark eyes shifted to meet his gaze, and he frowned, cautiously letting his fingers brush against the wound and watching as Hanzo jerked, mouth opening in a silent cry, and there was a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach at the sight._

    By the time rescue had arrived he was convinced that Hanzo couldn’t speak, but something had stopped him from mentioning it aloud even when he had watched Angela and Genji trying to elicit a response from the semi-conscious archer. As much as he could understand their frustration, he couldn’t help but side with Hanzo. It had taken him a long time to adapt to the loss of his hearing, and he had gone to extreme lengths to hide it, even now with the implants that Angela had created just for him he tended to avoid drawing attention to it even around those who knew about already knew about it.

    Still, there was one thing that bothered him even now, Hanzo had clearly spoken at some point because he could remember the evening that Genji had come back from tracking down his brother and relayed their conversation and his hope that the other man would join them in time. And he couldn’t see Winston letting the archer stay without talking to him, so what was going on? Did he have implants and just chose to leave them off most of the time? That was something that McCree could understand, sometimes he did the same, hiding away in his quarters and plunging himself back into the silence that had been his life for several years. Or was it something else? However, he was glad that he had held his silence back then because two weeks later when the archer had been allowed to wander freely around the base once more, he had come back to his room to find a bottle of whiskey on his bed, with a simple note in the archer’s family handwriting. _Thank you…_

**

    If anything, that realisation had only increased his interest in Hanzo, and he found himself watching him even more often, although at some point that had extended to intervening when some of the others grew impatient with Hanzo’s silence. It was during one of these times when Hana and Lucio had been tag-teaming in an attempt to draw Hanzo out of his shell that he spotted another clue. He had just butted in, lazy drawl in full force as he challenged Hana to a rematch, reminding her of the fact that he had somehow managed to pull a victory out of the bag last time he had given in to her demands to play a game with her. It had successfully distracted her as she immediately latched onto him and Lucio and tugged them towards the games console, and out of the corner of his eye he had caught Hanzo’s hands moving, and he had frozen for half a second as he recognised the sign for ‘thank you.’

    Dark eyes had met his gaze, panic stirring in their depths and McCree had sighed and turned around, letting himself get dragged away and trying not to frown when he saw Hanzo sneaking out of the room a couple of minutes later. He itches to go after him, the thought of there being someone on the base who understands silence as well as he does is overwhelming. However, Hanzo still hasn’t acknowledged the fact that he knows, and the archer probably has no idea that McCree is in the same boat and the gunslinger has no idea how to even start that conversation.

    However, the thought won’t go away, and along with it comes the suspicion that Hanzo has no one to talk with, no one to sign to. It’s a thought reinforced the day he catches Genji storming away from Hanzo, muttering under his breath that he doesn’t understand why his brother won’t talk to him. Behind him, McCree can see the loneliness that flitters across Hanzo’s expression as he watches Genji go, hands outstretched as though in readiness to sign at him. For a moment, he hesitates, just out of sight as he tries to gather his courage to step inside and show Hanzo that he knows, that he understands - but does he? They might share the silence, but he has no idea what had happened to the archer. Apparently, no one does if Genji’s behaviour is any indicator, and there’s too much that could go wrong, and even though they’re barely even friends, he doesn’t want to push the archer away.

But he also can’t ignore the situation…

     It’s a few days later during a check-up with Angela, the world silent around him once more as she checks his implants, her fingers moving gracefully as she explains what he’s doing that a thought occurs to him. He doesn’t say anything to her, not sure if Hanzo has even told her about his voice. Instead, as soon as he is free of her clutches, he scribbles a note and slips it under the archer’s door.

    There’s no sign that Hanzo has even seen the note. The archer remains as silent and aloof as always, occasionally appearing to join him on the practice range but otherwise, everything seemed to remain the same much to his irritation. It was nearly a month later that he finally caught sight of Hanzo slipping into the infirmary, and after a very short-lived debate with himself McCree had crept up to the door, easing it open just enough to peer inside a slow grin creeping across his face at the sight of Hanzo and Angela signing at one another. He catches the greetings and exchange of pleasantries, fighting the urge to go in and join them and instead slipping away when he sees Angela gesturing at the archer’s throat, her hands practically flying and he hastily closes the door before he sees something he isn’t supposed to.

    It becomes a frequent sight over the next few weeks, and McCree is pleased to see that Hanzo looks a little lighter when he’s around the others and to find the archer joining him more and more in the practice range, although neither of them acknowledges the fact that McCree is aware of his muteness. More than once McCree opens his mouth intending to break the silence between them, but there’s something peaceful about the quiet between them that he doesn’t want to risk damaging, and so he waits and watches, and tries not to feel jealous when he sees Hanzo slipping into the infirmary.

****

     Unfortunately, there is only so long that something like that can remain secret on a small base like Gibraltar, and it’s only when everything erupts that McCree realises that he’s been waiting for it to happen. It doesn’t make it any easier to witness though.

     He had been sat in the corner of the common area, pretending to be completely engrossed in the old western he was watching while Angela and Hanzo sat in the back corner, silently signing to one another at a speed that he couldn’t help but envy. He could sign, and he could probably have followed the conversation if he was paying proper attention to it, but it had been a long time since he’d had to use it to that extent and he knew that he was rusty. It was a thought that had him reaching up and brushing fingers against his ears, almost wishing that he hadn’t accepted the implants that let him hear and he has to fight the temptation to turn them off and just bathe in silence for a little while. Instead, he lets his gaze dart to the other two, catching the half smile that crosses Hanzo’s face for a moment and it’s harder than he anticipated to drag his gaze away again. He manages eventually, just in time to see Genji step into the room and come to an abrupt halt, his attention obviously focused on the signing pair and McCree curses.

“Genji…” He surges to his feet, hoping that he can head off the confrontation that he can feel brewing, but freezes when Genji holds up a hand. _Damn it…_ What makes it worse is that as far as he knows this is the first time Hanzo has dared speak with Angela like this outside the sanctuary of the infirmary, and he has a feeling this is going to undo any progress that they’ve made.

“Brother?” Genji’s voice is tight, barely controlled in a way that McCree hadn’t heard it since the early days after his near death, vents hissing as he shifts from foot to foot. It’s hard to tell what he’s thinking, but there’s no missing the way his head shifts as his attention moves between Hanzo and Angela. The latter rising to her feet and moving to stand in front of Hanzo, only to be stopped by the archer rising as well and gently nudging her out of the way, shakily signing that he will handle it. “Is this why you’ve been ignoring everyone?” Genji grounds out, gesturing at Hanzo’s hands which had frozen mid-movement. “But…”

“Genji…” Angela tries to intercede, sharing an anxious glance with McCree.

“Why didn’t you tell me!” Genji’s voice is rising, and McCree wants to growl at him, there’s no way they’re going to be able to keep this contained at this rate. A thought that’s confirmed a couple of minutes later when Winston and Tracer appear in the doorway with matching worried frowns, Hana and Lucio trailing in after them and coming to an abrupt halt as they detect the tension in the air.

“What is going on here?” Winston cautiously breaks the silence that has greeted their arrival, glancing at the four who were already in the room, gaze lingering on Hanzo.

“My brother failed to mention that he can’t speak,” Genji grounds out, hurt evident beneath the anger and McCree sighs - things had been improving before the pair, despite Hanzo’s silence but he has a feeling that might be about to change.

“Genji!” Angela gasps, glancing at Hanzo who has flinched back at Genji’s words, eyes focusing on anything but them and her expression is one of concern as she reaches for him. “Hanzo…” Hurt flickers across her face when he shrinks back from her, but she doesn’t push the issue, remembering how long it had taken to convince him to seek her out when he wanted to talk. Unfortunately, her actions have drawn all eyes to her and its Tracer who asks the question on all their minds.

“Angela, you knew about this?”

“I…Yes.”

    McCree can see the panic in the archer’s face as he glances up at Angela’s admission, his gaze flicking between the gathered agents, every muscle tensing as though he’s about to fight or flee and his heart goes out to the other man. He knows how it can feel to be surrounded by noise like that, overwhelmed by people who don’t understand how much they need distance and silence at times, and he finds himself stepping forward before he’s even made the conscious decision to intervene. His voice a low growl as he moves to stand in front of Hanzo.

“Let him be.” He turns his head just enough so that he can see Hanzo, freezing as he catches the suspicious shimmer in the dark eyes and he growls under his breath. It’s too close to how he felt in those early days without sound, and without a word, he tilts his head towards the door. He can see Hanzo hesitating, longing warring with guilt as his gaze darts to his brother, and he’s relieved when the former wins out, Hanzo turning and bolting from the room and McCree quickly moves to block the way when Genji moves as though to follow him.

“McCree?” Genji falters, clearly surprised by McCree’s interference as the gunslinger has always maintained a certain distance from any issues between the two brothers. In fact, he’s probably the only agent to remain completely unaffected by the fact that someone with Hanzo past had joined them, but then his gaze shifts to Angela, noting the lack of surprise in her gaze before whirling on McCree once more. “You knew?”

“I worked it out on my own,” McCree doesn’t bother to tone down the sharp edge to his voice, itching to go after the archer, not quite trusting Hanzo to be on his own right now. But he can see that several of the others are looking at the door as well, and although they might mean well he has the feeling that might be the thing that pushes Hanzo over the edge right now. Coughing to get their attention he reaches up and taps his ears, reminding them of the devices that Angela had created for him years ago, before pointing out archly. “I recognise the signs.” 

“But…” _Why didn’t you tell us? Tell me?_

“It wasn’t my place to say, nor was it Angela’s,” McCree points out sharply, earning a grateful smile from the doctor before he straightened and let his gaze rove over the others before turning his attention back to Genji. “I don’t know what happened to him or why he wants to keep it private, but it is his choice even if he is your brother.” He leaves that to sink in, turning on his heal and stalking out of the room, trusting them to have got the hint, and Angela to handle them if they haven’t, trying to ignore the anger churning just beneath the surface as he hurries down the corridor, reminding himself that they don’t understand… they can’t understand…

_Hanzo…_

**

     McCree had never been so glad for all the time he had spent observing the archer as he was the moment he stepped out on the ledge around the command tower, tawny eyes immediately focused on the figure that was huddled worryingly close to the edge. He pauses for a minute, waiting until he sees the minute tensing that indicates that Hanzo is aware of his presence before cautiously moving across to him and settling beside him, close enough that he can hear the other’s shaky breathing but not so close that they’re touching. He remembers all too vividly how people had tended to crowd him during the bad moments, wanting to help, but only adding to the stress and he sees Hanzo relax little when he realises that McCree isn’t going to force his way into his personal space.

     They sit like that for a long time, Hanzo’s gaze locked on some distant point that only he can see and McCree alternating between watching him and staring out towards the sea. It’s peaceful, something that he relishes after too many times cooped up in the base. As much as he enjoys being back with the others, they’re a bit too much him at times, especially the younger ones, not that he would admit that when he’s around them. It’s more than that though he admits to himself, gaze shifting to Hanzo once more, it’s something he’s noticed before on missions when it’s the two of them awake late at night. The quiet that the other man exudes is peaceful, and he curls his fingers around the edge of the ledge to stop himself from giving into the temptation of moving closer.

   It’s Hanzo who finally moves, uncurling just enough to lift his head and study McCree with narrowed eyes, the gaze leaving the gunslinger feeling as though he’s been stripped bare. He’s not sure what Hanzo was looking for, or what he found but after a moment Hanzo unfurls completely and slowly, hesitantly signs to him.

_Why are you here? Why didn’t you tell them?_

    McCree knows that the way his eyes widen at the questions has just well and truly given away the fact that he understands sign language, Hanzo’s eyes narrowing slightly in response, although he looks unsurprised.

“Because I’m the same,” he replies hesitantly, unsurprised when he catches the sceptical look on Hanzo’s face and he sighs. He can’t expect Hanzo to open up to him without returning the favour, and he opens his mouth to explain only to falter. Even now he finds it hard to voice aloud, but he can see the suspicion building in the dark eyes watching his every move, and he knows that he has to do something, refusing to let this opportunity pass them by.

“Look…” He hesitates for a moment, it goes against his instincts to bare his weakness to anyone, but if there is someone who’s going to understand it’s Hanzo and that’s what gives him the courage to reach up and remove his hat, placing it safely in his lap before gingerly brushing his hair out of the way. He sees Hanzo’s mouth open and close, the dark eyes widening for a moment before a pained expression flickers across his face and McCree has a feeling that the pain is for his sake and he grins weakly. “Don’t look at me that way sweetheart, it happened a long time ago.” It doesn’t stop him from flinching, the memory of pain lancing through his head, the world fading around him and along with it the sound of everything going up in flames around him overwhelming him for a moment.

    A gentle touch on his arm draws him back to the present, and he’s startled to realise that Hanzo has scooted closer so that their legs are touching now, but his attention is drawn to the sign that the archer is frantically making over and over again.

_I’m sorry._

    McCree’s eyes soften at the gesture because there is no pity in the dark eyes that are waiting for his response, just pain and understanding and slowly he reaches out to stop Hanzo. He shakes his head, relieved when he feels his hair falling back to cover his hearing aids, even with Hanzo he feels too exposed like that…but after studying the other man for a moment he reaches up with one hand and slowly switches them off, letting silence wash over and sighing with relief. As much as he’s grateful to Angela for giving him back sound, he’d had years of silence before that, and sometimes he longs for those days, and he can feel the tension that he hadn’t been aware of easing out of his shoulders. He feels Hanzo’s twitching in his, glancing up to find the archer studying him with a mix of confusion and understanding and he smiles, pulling his hand free so that he can sign.

_Sometimes I like silence too._

 


	2. Chapter 2

Now:

    McCree hesitated for a moment outside the kitchen, actually reaching up to make sure that he had turned his implants back on because there was no sign of the usual din that he’d come to associate with meals on the base. The silence was a bad sign, and if it wasn’t for the fact that the only food he had stashed away in his quarters were some crackers that were probably way past being edible and the fact that he had promised Hanzo dinner, he might well have turned around and avoided the coming confrontation. Since that wasn’t really an option right now, he settled for doing what he did best, pasting a grin on his face and sauntering inside as though nothing was wrong. Unsurprised when the silence that he stepped into seemed to intensify as all eyes turned in his direction, and the urge to turn tail and bolt grew by the moment.

    He was amazed that he’d managed to get across to the pan still simmering on the cooker, stomach growling at the sight of the stew waiting for them and tossing a quick smile at Reinhardt as he recognised the German’s hearty cooking, before someone broke the silence and he wanted to groan when Genji’s voice rang out.

“Where is my brother?”

     _Hiding._ The word was on the tip of his tongue as he turned to look at the younger man, but he swallowed it back knowing that it wasn’t going to help anyone if he voiced that thought aloud and besides he knew that wasn’t the only reason. Hanzo was no coward, the very fact that he was here on Gibraltar and trying to make a place for himself on the team despite being surrounded by their suspicions proved that, but he knew from experience how daunting it was to try and explain the silence, and their need for it to people who had never experienced it.

“He’s not ready to talk to you yet.” There was no way to soften those words, and he was unsurprised when Genji growled in response, and he hastily held up his hands, not wanting to get into a fight with the other man right now. “Give him time.”

“Is he all right?” Angela asked, shooting a quelling look at Genji when it looked as though he was about to interrupt before turning her attention back to the gunslinger and it was the honest concern in her eyes that had McCree sighing and shaking his head. He couldn’t lie to her, not when she had been going out of her way to help Hanzo over the last few weeks.

“He’s been better,” he replied, highly aware of their audience as everyone had abandoned all pretence of eating to watch them, although some of them looked a little confused and he was relieved to see that Genji seemed to have had the sense not to make it public. However, it meant that he had to be cautious about what he said and he hesitated for a moment. “He needs to think things through, and…” He trailed off, trying to find the words to explain what had happened without saying too much.

    _For a moment, he had actually thought that Hanzo was going to cry in response to his words, his expression more open that McCree had ever seen it even with all the time he had spent observing the archer. It was a feeling that he knew all too well, unable to forget the way he’d felt when Angela had finally introduced him to another ex-agent who had also lost their hearing in the line of duty. It hadn’t been their shared experience that had got to him though, it was the fact that there had been someone there who had understood what it was like to be trapped in silence that had torn through all the barriers he had frantically put up to try and protect himself. It had been the first time he’d allowed himself to fully be himself since the moment the world had gone silent on him, and for half a moment he had watched with bated breath, waiting for Hanzo to shatter in the same way he had back then. However, the moment ended when Hanzo glanced away, hands curling into fists for a moment before he tentatively signed another question._

**_What am I going to do?_ **

     _It was a weighted question, especially with so many things up in the air at the moment. McCree had wanted to tell him that everything was going to be all right, and in the long run, he knew that it would be, refusing to believe in any other outcome. Instead, he found himself hesitating, replaying the events from earlier and grimacing. There was never going to be a good way to break this secret to the others, not with their pre-existing concerns about the archer and the lingering fears about secrets that remained after what had happened in Switzerland. However, he knew that having Genji of all people walking in on Hanzo and Angela signing had been one of the worst ways for it to come out. However, he had to say something because he could see that his lack of response was agitating the other man._

**_Give them time to calm down and then talk to them, I’ll be there, and I’m sure Angela will be willing to help as well._ ** _It felt a little bit awkward to sign again after so long, and he found himself watching his hands, faltering here and there as he wracked his brain for the correct sign. He guessed that he must have at least been understandable because there was a softness to the dark eyes when he looked up to meet Hanzo’s gaze._

**_But Genji…_ **

**_Will understand._ ** _I hope, McCree added silently, trying not think about how angry Genji had been earlier because the softness was fading from the archer’s expression now, pain seeping in as Hanzo looked away. Gently he reached out and nudged Hanzo, waiting until he reluctantly glanced back at him before continuing. **He forgave you for what happened in the past, this…** He gestured loosely at his own throat, not entirely sure how to phrase it and well aware that they weren’t ready to broach the subject of what had happened to make Hanzo lose his voice._

**_Is another secret, another thing I’ve kept from him._**   _He had never thought it was possible for someone to put so much emotion into sign language, but right now he felt as though he could hear the anguish behind the words even though his implants were off and Hanzo was silent. He hesitated for a moment, not wanting to cause the archer more distress but there was still an openness to Hanzo’s expression that made him hope that he might just get an answer._

**_Why? Why didn’t you tell him?_ **

**** _It was like watching shutters come down, Hanzo’s expression going completely blank and McCree wanted to curse…it had been a long time since he had been faced with that expression, and he wished that he could take the question back, blinking in shock when a few minutes later Hanzo finally signed a response with quick, jerky motions._

**_It was my burden to bear._ **

_Hanzo glanced away the moment he was finished, and this time McCree let him, sensing that he needed a few minutes to gather himself. Instead, he let his gaze rove over the base, noting little details that he normally missed now that he was no longer distracted by the low hum of the power that constantly filled the air, the distant sound of waves crashing against the cliffs and the cry of seagulls flying overhead. And after a moment he closed his eyes and just let himself savour the silence, the peace, trusting that Hanzo would alert him if he wanted him for something._

_**_

_In the end, nearly an hour had passed before Hanzo had finally reached out to him, signing a quick apology that McCree quickly waved off, before signing a question of his own._

**_Should we go back?_ **

**_I don’t want to go back, not yet._ ** _Hanzo signed frantically in response, and McCree sighed, lifting his hands with the intention of pointing out that waiting was only going to make things worse in the long run, but before he could make a single sign Hanzo had continued, and all thoughts of protesting disappeared as he realised what the other man was saying. **I’m scared.** Not once, in all the time he’s known the archer had he seen him openly expressing fear and something tightened in his chest at the sight of it now. It was a little too close for comfort, and he shifted awkwardly, remembering how it had felt being around the others for the first few weeks after Angela had broken the news to him about his hearing. Weeks, if he was honest, it had been months before he had felt even remotely at ease around anyone, and it hadn’t even been an hour since the others had found out about Hanzo. **Please...**_

**** _McCree studied him for a long moment before he nodded, watching the way the archer immediately relaxed at his agreement before reaching up and turning on his implants once more, shuddering as sound washed over him once more and feeling the familiar panic that came from losing the silence…blinking when there was a gentle touch on his arm, Hanzo drawing him back to the present and he managed a weak smile._

_“How about dinner in my room then?” McCree asked once he had calmed enough to speak, knowing that he was probably only making the situation worse by letting Hanzo hide, but there was something painfully familiar about the fear in the dark eyes that met his gaze, and he couldn’t bring himself to take the offer back. Instead, he tried to lighten the moment, offering Hanzo a warm grin. “I promise that I’ll be the perfect gentleman.” Hanzo blinked in surprise at the light flirting, relief was written across his face when he realised that McCree was serious, giving a tiny nod of agreement before lifting trembling hands._

**_Thank you._ **

McCree felt his lips quirk at the memory, but he quickly cleared his expression as he realised that he was still the centre of attention.

“Its okay I understand,” Angela had clearly caught it though, her eyes softening for a moment before she offered him a tiny smile. “Please tell him that my door is always open.” McCree smiled then, honest and warm because he knew that the archer would need that offer at the moment. He could understand the silence and Hanzo’s need for it, but he wouldn’t be enough on his own and while Hanzo might be reluctant to admit, just the fact that he had reached out to the healer told him that he trusted her.

“Thanks, Doc.”

“But…” Genji had stepped forward, his voice softer and almost lost sounding as he glanced between them and McCree sighed. It was hard to remain objective because he had been there when Genji had gone through his darkest days, and he had seen the Genji’s excitement when he spoke about Hanzo coming to join them. However, right now his sympathies lay with Hanzo, but that didn’t stop him from hesitating, unwilling to leave things just like that.

“He wants to fix things, more than you realise,” he murmured finally, remembering the pain in dark eyes when Hanzo had spoken about his brother, and he knew that the archer feared losing the progress he had made with Genji more than he feared anything else. “Just give him time.” It was a plea and a promise all in one, and he waited as Genji seemed to contemplate his words, vents hissing softly as he breathed in and out before finally giving a tiny nod.

“Very well, but…please tell him that I don’t want any more secrets. If he’s going to tell me, then I want him to tell me everything.” McCree didn’t reply, not liking the tension beneath the words but deciding that there had been enough arguments for one day, besides the silence over the rest of the room was starting to grate on his nerves and he was keen to get back to the peace of his rooms and Hanzo. Instead, he nodded before turning back to the food and hastily dishing up two platefuls, carefully balancing them as he practically fled from the room. Trying not to groan as he heard Reinhardt loudly demanding to know what was going on before he was halfway down the corridor and he had a feeling that it wasn’t going to remain a secret for much longer.

**

    It was a relief to reach the safety of his quarters, and he quickly waved off Hanzo’s worried questions as the archer rose to help him. Although he had a feeling that his expression gave it away because dark eyes narrowed and refused to meet his gaze even as Hanzo helped him to set the food down on the small space on the floor that they’d cleared earlier. McCree making a note to try and find a spare table at some point as he had a feeling that they would both be needing this retreat until things settled down. Settling down opposite Hanzo he could see that Hanzo was still worrying and remembering his earlier promise he removed his hat with a flourish, playfully bowing to Hanzo before settling it aside and grinning triumphantly when he glanced back just in time to see the half-smile that crept across Hanzo’s face.

     Taking that as a victory he began to eat, keeping a careful eye on Hanzo as the archer slowly followed suit, feeling the unspoken questions that lay between them and trying to ignore them for a little bit longer. Reinhardt’s cooking was as good as always, and McCree felt a little of the tension flowing out of him as he savoured the taste. He had learnt enough to be a passable cook over the years, but he never seemed to get the flavours as spot on as the German did and he made a note to try and take him up on the offer of cooking lessons he had made a few months before. Hanzo must’ve felt the same because he was eating steadily, something that had been a rarity in the early days when he was slow to adapt to their western dishes. Although the frown he was wearing indicated that his thoughts were on darker topics than McCree’s and the gunslinger sighed and turned his attention back to his food, missing the almost easy silence from earlier.

      It didn’t take them long to finish, and McCree carefully stacked the dishes and pushed them to one side, intending to sneak them back down to the kitchen later when the others were asleep so that he didn’t need to deal with any more awkward confrontations. Although he had a feeling that he was about to walk into another one as he shifted his attention back to the archer.

“Hanzo?” He waited until Hanzo looked up at him, trepidation written across his face although he nodded encouragingly, giving McCree the courage to ask something that had been bothering him ever since he had realised that the other man couldn’t speak. “You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” McCree paused to reassure him, there was no way he would ever force the issue, not after having to endure too many demanding interrogations when he’d tried to hide his own disability. “I was wondering…what happened to you? I mean you can’t have been mute when you were younger, Genji wouldn’t have reacted like he did.” It was a thought that had dawned on him when they were sat out on the ledge, but he hadn’t been willing to ask back then.

    Hanzo had stiffened at the question, and for a moment McCree thought that he was going to refuse to answer, but instead, the archer slowly lifted a hand to his neck, fingers ghosting against his neck as a shudder worked its way through his body. “Hanzo…” He was cut off by Hanzo shaking his head, taking a deep breath as he pulled his hand away from his neck before lifting his head to meet McCree’s gaze and holding it as he slowly began to sign, lacking the grace of his earlier movements because his hands were trembling.

 ** _You know that my clan kept hunting for me?_** He asked, waiting for McCree to nod before continuing hesitantly. ** _I did not always escape unscathed._** McCree wants to growl at that, the memories of his own years on the run rising to the surface and his heart went out to the archer, it was hard enough being on your own and being hunted…he knew that pain…but to be hunted by your own clan, but those who should have protected you? That is a pain he doesn’t even want to imagine, and he remains still and silent, waiting patiently as Hanzo visibly struggles to gather his thoughts. **_It was the anniversary of when I -when I tried to kill Genji, I had already been to the shrine, and I had retreated to bar. I was drunk…_**

_It had been a long time since he had let himself get that drunk, and by the time he realised that the bar was empty of normal customers it was too late, and he had found himself surrounded. The haze caused by the alcohol hadn’t been enough to stop him from reaching for his bow, but it had slowed his reflexes, his mind struggling to comprehend what was happening when his bow had been knocked from his hands. He had still been puzzling over the lack of weapon in his hand when the first blow had landed, knocking him heavily to the ground and then there had been no stopping them. They weren’t trying to bring him home or re-establish the clan this time, they were going to kill him, and Hanzo found himself letting his arms fall aside as he closed his eyes._

_“Kill me…” The words had slipped out unbidden, fuelled by the alcohol and the guilt and grief that had flooded him the moment he had set foot in Hanamura that day. There was no fight left in on him, and he lost himself in the rain of blows, the pain blossoming across his body…_

    Hanzo hadn’t even realised that he’d closed his eyes in the present, vision blurring slightly as he opened them to look at McCree, stunned by the fury and dawning understanding on the gunslinger’s face. He faltered for a moment suddenly reluctant to continue, and McCree must’ve sensed it because he reached out and rested a hand on his knee.

“Hanzo…tell me.”

 ** _I…_** Hanzo hesitated again, the memories rising to the surface and for a moment it was too much. This was part of the reason he had never mentioned this to anyone, he didn’t want to remember that night, that moment when he had been willing to embrace death just to escape everything. Terror gripping him whenever he contemplated the thought that he would have never got the chance to see Genji again if luck hadn’t decided to show him mercy that night. However, McCree was watching him, patience winning out over the anger and it was that which made him try again. ** _I lost consciousness at some point, and when I woke up, I was in the hospital._**

    He had been stunned to wake up at all and somewhat disappointed although he was careful not to say that, although he had a feeling that McCree knew when he sneaked a quick glance at the other man and caught the pained grimace on his face. **_One of the blows had damaged my larynx, nearly killing me and leaving me like this…_** He gestured at his throat once more, swallowing convulsively as he remembered the burning pain from back then and the panic that had engulfed him when he had opened his mouth, and no sound had come out. The terror of struggling to breathe, and it was only McCree’s hand on his knee that stopped him from giving into that remembered fear, and for a moment he reached down, fingers brushing warm skin as he tried to ground himself in the present before continuing. **_I had no voice, no way to communicate. I was trapped in that hospital for months as they tried to fix me, and I had nothing but silence for company…_**

 


	3. Chapter 3

    McCree was silent for a few minutes after Hanzo had finished signing, his gaze fixed on where the archer’s hands had fallen into his lap, noticing how badly they were trembling and itching to reach and grasp them. However, his thoughts were fixated on the story, his heart going out to the other man. He had rarely been left alone when he had first lost his hearing, apart from when he forced them away. The idea of Hanzo facing a similar silence alone broke his heart, and tentatively he reached out to grasp one of the trembling hand between both of his, squeezing softly. He half expected Hanzo to pull away, but instead, there was a brief moment of hesitation before his fingers curled loosely around McCree’s as his other hand moved to sign.

**_Thank you._ **

They sat like that for a few minutes, not speaking, just enjoying the silence in the way that only people who truly knew silence could.

“Hanzo?” McCree finally broke the silence, voice hesitant, and he nearly flinched at the speed at which Hanzo turned to look at him. It took him a moment to recover, taking a deep breath before trying to continue. “There was something else that I wanted to ask, it’s just…” _I don’t want to upset you,_ he knew that there must be one hell of a storm building in the rest of the base that they would both had to face sooner or later. Somehow, he doubted that Genji was going to forget his interference easily, and to be honest, he had no intention of leaving Hanzo’s side, not now that he knew for sure that they shared the same silence. Hanzo’s fingers tightened for a moment before he pulled it free, expression softening before nodding and signing.

**_Ask._ **

He realised that he had been waiting for Hanzo to refuse, after all, he had already made the archer relive the worst bits, and he floundered for a minute, for once thinking carefully about what he was trying to say. He could feel Hanzo’s eyes watching him, waiting and biting his lip as he lifted his head to meet his gaze once more.

“Genji said that he spoke to you when he saw you at the shrine, but…”

 ** _This._** Hanzo faltered for a minute, fingers trembling as he gestured at his throat, shivering as he brushed against the skin before pulling his hands away and continuing with rough, unsteady movements. ** _This happened before I saw him._** That confirmed McCree’s suspicions, after all, it hadn’t been that long after the brothers had met again that Hanzo had sought them out in Gibraltar. And when he’d arrived, he’d had the weary, wary look of a man who had been on the run for a long time, but not the look of a man who had been hospitalised for a long time. However, it didn’t answer the question of how, and it must’ve shown on his face because Hanzo swallowed thickly before heading him off. **_I know what you want to ask, but I can’t tell you._**

“Hanzo…”

 ** _I can’t say._** Hanzo repeated more jerkily, and McCree frowned catching the way the archer’s gaze darted to his arm, eyes becoming slightly unfocused for a moment before he turned his attention back to McCree and adding more steadily. ** _I will, just not yet. Please._**

“All right, sweetheart,” McCree murmured, smiling reassuringly even as he filed away the reaction, seeing the way Hanzo relaxed before the archer glanced away and he reached out again, fingers brushing Hanzo’s knee, bringing his attention back to him. “But Hanzo, if…when you do want to talk then I’ll be more than willing to listen, even if you can’t tell me everything or you don’t want to.” Hanzo was looking overwhelmed again so he offered him a last smile before pulling away, giving him room and he was unsurprised when the archer rose a few minutes later and slipped from the room with a last, grateful glance back at McCree.

_Thank you._

****

    McCree sighed, the awkward silence that hung over the common room testing his nerves and the temptation to turn off his implants, to blanket out the entire world was higher than ever. It had been the same for the past couple of weeks, a strange tension settling over the base since Hanzo and Genji’s confrontation and the revelation that the archer couldn’t speak. Things were especially strained as the pair had returned to warily circling one another, almost as though the last few months of working on their relationship had never happened. More than once Genji had tried to initiate the conversation that they obviously needed to have, but so far Hanzo had always flinched away from those attempts, slipping from the room and seeking sanctuary wherever he could find. Usually the ledge on the control centre, McCree’s room or the infirmary, but there was only so long that could continue for, and it left McCree with the feeling that they were all sat on top of a ticking time bomb.

    The only bright side, from his point of view, was that the sort of friendship he had been trying to strike up with the archer was beginning to blossom. Hanzo would seek him out when he wanted company, even if they didn’t speak and the silences were comfortable - too comfortable maybe, and he found himself switching off his implants more often so he could indulge in it. They spent long hours in the training room, learning to work around one another and competing viciously to see who was the better marksman, an ongoing competition as so far neither of them had been able to secure a proper lead over the other. In the evenings, they would eat together, mainly hidden away from the rest of the team and talk, slowly learning a little more about the others past, although there were still topics that both of them veered away from. Trust was growing, but they both had plenty to hide and plenty to fear. But still it was progress, and right now it was the only thing stopping the tension on the base from becoming too much for either of them.

    Speaking of which, he looked up from the report he was reluctantly trying to complete as he felt a sharp spike in the tense atmosphere, just in time to see Hanzo stepping into the room. The archer recoiled for a moment, and McCree half expected him to turn and leave, but instead, he took a deep breath and moved across to the sofa that McCree had commandeered, and he immediately sat up so that Hanzo could join him, scooting across to give him room to sit.   

**_Thank you._ **

That was one change that he didn’t mind. With his secret out in the open Hanzo no longer hid the fact that he could communicate with sign language, conversing openly with Angela and McCree and occasionally with Hana, Mei and Lucio who had hounded Angela to teach them some basic signs - a gesture that had meant more to Hanzo than they probably realised. A gentle touch on his arm drew his attention, and he looked up, catching the hopeful expression on Hanzo’s face.

**_Are you free to join me on the practice range?_ **

 “Winston is demanding I get this report in yesterday,” McCree replied with a sigh, glancing down at the tablet in his hands and the pitiful amount of progress he had made in the last couple of hours. Paperwork really wasn’t his forte, and the thought of hitting the practice range and letting out some of his pent-up energy sounded great, besides Hanzo had deflated a little at his response and that was enough to make up his mind. “Give me an hour?” It was worth the thought of having to finish the damn thing in the next hour to see the way Hanzo’s eyes lightened, a half-smile tugging at his lips as he rose to his feet.

**_I’ll be waiting._ **

McCree waited until Hanzo was gone before turning back to his work with renewed energy, ignoring the looks from the others as he set to work. Jumping violently a few minutes later when the sofa dipped again, lifting his eyes just enough to see that it was Angela who had joined him, grunting an acknowledgement before dropping his attention back to his work.

“You’re doing him a world of good.”

“Am I?” McCree asked doubtfully, finally looking up at her, hands tensing around the tablet until the side where his mechanic hand was creaked alarmingly forcing him to let go as he continued.  “Sometimes it feels like I’m just helping him to hide from what’s happening, and I’m not sure that’s a good thing.”

“Maybe that’s what he needs right now,” Angela pointed out softly. “You heard that Winston spoke to him?”

“Yeah,” McCree muttered with a scowl. That had been the icing on the cake. Hanzo had been dragged into a meeting with their de facto leader a couple of days after everything had blown up, the archer hadn’t told him everything that had been said, just that Angela had been there and that it had been to discuss whether it was safe for him to be out on missions. Something that had nearly had McCree storming off to confront Winston about when he’d heard, only Hanzo’s frantically reassuring him that it was okay stopping him from doing something he might not have regretted later. Still even now, a couple of weeks later, he felt himself bristle at the insinuation that Hanzo couldn’t fight because of his silence. He had managed before now without anyone but McCree being any the wiser.

   They had the technology to help, and if it came down to it, then McCree was more than willing to be his partner, although he had a feeling that he might have some competition as Hana, and the others were determined to learn more sign language and working with Hanzo would help with that. Although it still raised the mystery of how Hanzo had managed to join in the first place, and how he had spoken with Genji back then, a secret that he had yet to bring up again.

“McCree…”

“I understand that Winston has to worry about such things,” he muttered with a sigh, knowing for a fact that it was a job he wouldn’t want, but right now it was hard to see it in that light, and there was a hint of bitterness in his voice as he added. “But Hanzo needs to feel useful, needs to be treated like normal. You know that…”

“I know, and I’m looking for an implant that will help him,” Angela assured him, and it was nearly enough to quell his concerns because he knew that she wouldn’t stop until she had an answer, just as she had with him. However, he could see the hesitance in her eyes as she added softly. “But it’s going to take some time. Until then…”

“I’m here,” McCree finished for her. It wasn’t anywhere close to being a solution, especially one that he could be happy with, but for now, it was all he had to offer, and he just hoped that it would be enough, especially when he glimpsed Genji slipping out of the room without a word.

_It's a promise._

**

It was just over an hour later that he slipped into the target range to find Hanzo leaning against the wall, fiddling with his bowstring, the targets already set up and waiting to be activated and the relief in the dark eyes made McCree offer him a soft smile.

**_You finished the report._ **

“More or Less,” he replied with a shrug as he drew his gun, fingers moving with practised ease as he checked it over, trying not to think about the haphazard bunch of words he had ending up typing and sending off to Winston. No doubt he would get it back later. Looking up he found Hanzo giving him a disapproving look, although it was ruined by the hint of amusement in his gaze and the slightest quirk of his lips. “Don’t give me that look, I seem to remember you giving your last one to Genji…” He trailed off as he realised what he’d just said. “Never mind.”

 ** _It’s fine._** Hanzo brushed it off, but there was a tense set to his shoulders even as he lifted his head, a challenge written across his face. ** _The winner is in charge of dinner?_** It had become a common bet over the last couple of weeks, simply an excuse for them to eat together in the evenings, usually in McCree’s quarters or more rarely in Hanzo’s more Spartan room, something they did even if they hadn’t had a chance to train that day. McCree hesitated for a moment, his doubts from before rising to the surface once more before he recalled his promise, and he took a deep breath before nodding.

“You’re on.”

****

A week later:

    McCree frowned when there was a soft knock on his door. Hanzo had only left a few minutes ago, to go and see Angela, something to do with her search for an implant that would help him so there was no way he would be back yet, and he wasn’t expecting anyone else. For a moment, he considered ignoring it. He had retreated to his room with Hanzo specifically to get away from the tense atmosphere, but there was another soft knock, and with an irritated huff he pushed himself up off the bed and padded across to the door. He swung it open with more force than necessary, only to freeze as he found himself face to face with Genji, blinking as he realised that the other man had his mask off, giving him a clear view of the strangely nervous expression on Genji’s face. The temptation to just shut the door in his face was nearly overwhelming as things had been nearly as tense between them as it had been between the brothers, but he knew that Hanzo wouldn’t approve and so he sighed and leant against the door frame, determined not to let Genji inside just yet.

“What do you want Genji?”

“I…” In all the time that McCree had known Genji, he had never seen him look as nervous as he did right then, however, after the past few weeks he wasn’t ready to cut him any slack just yet, and he pointedly arched an eyebrow at the younger man, demanding an answer. “Is my brother here?” McCree hesitated for a moment, aware that Hanzo didn’t want the others to know what he was meeting with Angela about, then again, the entire base had got used to seeing the two of them together, and it was clear that Genji had no intention of continuing until he got an answer.

“He’s with Angela at the moment, and you didn’t answer my question,” McCree pointed out, earning a defeated sigh from Genji although he looked relieved to hear that Hanzo wasn’t around. Another thing that had alarm bells ringing at the back of his mind, not helped by the way Genji shifted from side to side, hands clenching and unclenching nervously at his side.

“I…” Genji swallowed thickly, vents whirring before he lifted his head and finally met McCree’s gaze head-on. “I want your help.”

“You want my help?”

“I want to learn to speak with Hanzo, to use sign language.” Genji paused for a moment, glancing down as he glimpsed the incredulous expression on McCree’s face. “I know you might not believe me after the last few weeks, but I don’t want to lose him again.”

    To be honest, McCree had no idea what to say. A part of him wanted to demand to know why he should help after the last few weeks, to point out that it would be easier to wait for Hanzo to reach out. But the words wouldn’t come, because he had seen the pain and longing in Hanzo’s expression whenever he was near his brother, knew that the weight of the situation and the secrets were wearing on him. Rubbing a weary hand across his face, he hesitated for a minute, before sighing and stepping back to let the younger man enter, still not sure that he was doing the right thing…but needing, wanting to feel as though he was doing something to fix this situation.

“Fine, but…”

“I know, I have to wait,” Genji cut him off, face twisted into a pained grimace before his eyes narrowed as something occurred to him, and he turned to look at McCree, who closed the door before meeting his gaze with an arched eyebrow. “You’re not going to prank me this time, are you?” McCree blinked at the question, confused for a moment before his memory kicked into gear and colour tainted his cheeks - he had forgotten about that. Back when they were in Blackwatch they had decided to exchange language lessons, only McCree had decided to teach Genji some random sentences, sitting back and watching the chaos that erupted when the people who also understood Spanish - including Reyes, had choked at what the Ninja had come out with. The prank war that had erupted after that had been legendary in Blackwatch, only ending when Reyes had put his foot down.

“No,” he promised, chuckling lightly at the memory, despite the pain that came with it. Those had been easier times. “Take a seat and let’s get started.” Genji hesitated for a moment, no doubt searching for any hint of a lie in his expression but apparently, he found nothing because he bowed his head in thanks before settling down on the spare chair that McCree had commandeered when Hanzo had started spending more time with him.

**

True to his expectations it was a couple of hours later than Hanzo reappeared, by which time Genji had been called away for a mission briefing with and a list of signs to practice and a promise of another lesson once the mission was over. McCree opened his mouth intending to ask how the meeting with Angela had gone, hoping that she might at least be a little closer to finding something that would help Hanzo. However, before he could even get a word out Hanzo had stiffened, glancing around the room with narrowed eyes and the gunslinger fell silent as he watched Hanzo’s expression darken before the archer turned to him, signing with short, jerky movements.

**_Genji was here?_ **

“I…Yes,” McCree couldn’t, wouldn’t lie to him even though Genji had asked him not to tell Hanzo about the lessons unless it was absolutely necessary. “How did you…?”

**_I know._ **

    McCree growled in frustration at the answer that wasn’t an answer and Hanzo jolted at the noise, tensing for a moment, before he sighed, shoulders slumping as he quietly moved to sit on the edge of the bed, not quite looking at McCree. **_Do you still wish to know how I spoke with Genji?_** McCree knew that his answer must be written across his face because Hanzo glanced at him and gave a shaky laugh, before his expression slowly flooded with resolve, having clearly reached a decision. **_Then I will show you._**

“What do you mean?”

**_Watch._ **

Hanzo rose to his feet again after a brief hesitation, moving a short distance away before holding out his tattooed arm. For a moment, McCree was distracted by the artwork, admiring the flowing lines and colour, before he was distracted by the realisation that Hanzo was trembling slightly and he opened his mouth, intending to tell him to stop. Not to push himself, but the soft blue glow that engulfed the tattoo silenced him, and he tensed. He recognised that light. He’d seen it in action on the battlefield - seen the destruction the dragons could cause, and he wasn’t keen on experiencing that up close and personal, especially in the tight quarters of his own room.

     However, there was no deafening roar and no destruction. Instead, he caught a vague impression of the dragons, much smaller than normal wrapping themselves around Hanzo’s arm, shivering at the sensation of being watched by eyes that he couldn’t quite see. There was a pause and then a soft voice, mellow, with a hint of uncertainty as though it had been a long time since it had been used rang through the room and McCree froze.

“This was how I did it.” Hanzo’s mouth was moving in time with the words, but there was a hint of blue in the dark eyes, barely visible unless you were staring as closely as McCree was. They stated at one another for a moment, then the blue light wavered, flickering wildly around the edge before fading away and McCree sprang to his feet as Hanzo swayed slightly, hands trembling as he guided the other man to sit down on the edge of the bed and crouching down in front of him.

“The Dragons…?”

     Hanzo nodded wearily, running his fingers over the tattoo and McCree was given the impression that he was still communicating with them before dark eyes slowly shifted back to him. **_They remember my voice, and they can mimic it._** So, that had been Hanzo’s voice? It warmed McCree to realise that he had been trusted with something so precious, replaying the mellow tone, a voice that had suited the archer more than he had ever thought possible.

“Why not use it all the time?” Hanzo flinched at the question, hurt showing for a moment in his expression and McCree hurried to soothe him. “I don’t mind the silence, or speaking with sign language, but surely it would make life a little easier for you?” _You could have spared yourself further conflict with your brother,_ he kept that thought to himself, although he had a feeling that the other man could see right through him _._ Hanzo studied him for a long moment before sighing and shaking his head.

**_It is tiring and works best in a place where I feel safe, or that holds power for the Dragons._ **

“Like Hanamura?” McCree asked, understanding dawning as he thought back to when Hanzo had first arrived at the Watchpoint. He could remember that Hanzo had retreated to his new room after his arrival and not reappeared for nearly ten hours, clearly the effort of talking with Winston to earn his place had exhausted him.

 ** _Yes. I was prepared, I thought I might meet my attackers again, and I did not want them to know how much they had taken from me._** Hanzo’s expression twisted, fingers rising to brush against his neck, a nervous gesture that McCree had learned showed his memories were too close to the surface, but he waited, sensing that the other man had still more to say. ** _I did not know it was Genji at first, and it was not the time or place to tell this secret, and so I hid behind the Dragons’ voice._**

****


	4. Chapter 4

    In the end, that night turned out to be the first one that Hanzo spent in his room. Not that anything happened, the effort of using the Dragons in such a way had exhausted him, and he’d barely lasted through dinner before dozing off against McCree. For nearly an hour McCree had just sat there, barely daring to breath let alone move as he knew that this more than anything else was a sign that he had won Hanzo’s trust. He could probably count on one hand the number of times that Hanzo had slept easily around anyone other than Genji, even on longer missions he seemed to survive of snatched naps, with only true exhaustion or injuries allowing him to sleep properly. McCree had never commented, there had been a time when he was the same, the years on the run making it hard to relax completely, although he had quickly slipped back into old habits after returning to Overwatch, but Hanzo…Hanzo had no old habits, or happier memories to slip into, so the fact that he had willingly let down his guard was more telling than he had probably intended.

     Eventually, McCree had moved, gently easing the archer down onto the bed, fingers tentatively brushing through the dark hair when Hanzo stirred slightly at the movement. Dark eyes fluttering open for a minute, seeking him out and his breath caught as the brief flicker of fear faded the moment their gazes locked, and then Hanzo was leaning into the gentle touch as he drifted off again. _He trusts me,_ McCree had known that they were getting closer, but to have concrete proof of that stunned him and he sat there for a few minutes, just marvelling at the sight of the peaceful expression on Hanzo’s face.

_He trusts me…_

      It was that realisation that gave him the courage to rise and get ready for bed, carefully slipping under the covers as well although he maintained a careful distance from the archer, not wanting to risk threatening this new development although he couldn’t resist rolling onto his side so that he could lie there and study Hanzo. It was rare to see the strong features relaxed like this. In fact, he didn’t think he had ever seen them like this, but there and then he realised he wanted to see more of it, because right now the memories, the stress of the situation had melted away. He looked younger, innocent, and McCree wondered if this was what he would have looked like if the Shimadas hadn’t torn him apart, forced him to become something he didn’t want to be.

    Sighing, anger rising yet again, more potent than before now as he imagined what it must’ve been like for Hanzo to return to the place where he lost anything, to act as though nothing had happened, and he growled under his breath. _He survived, he’s here. He trusts me,_ he took a deep breath, closing his eyes and trying to will himself to relax.

   He was just beginning to drift off, lulled by the thought that Hanzo trusted him and that he was going to wake with the archer beside him when there was movement, and he stirred, opening bleary eyes just in time to find himself being accosted. It took his sleep-addled mind a moment to realise that Hanzo had rolled over and latched onto him, clutching at him with surprising strength and curling against him and he froze, heart hammering in his chest as Hanzo’s head came to rest against it and for a moment he was terrified the sound would rouse him. But after wiggling for a moment, seeking out the most comfortable position, Hanzo settled, grip loosening slightly although he made no effort to move away. McCree lay still for several minutes, breathing softly and just staring wide-eyed at the head tucked against him.

“Hanzo…” He murmured, hesitantly reaching out to thread his fingers into the dark hair, waiting or Hanzo to stir and push him away. Instead, all he could hear was the archer’s steady breathing, and he smiled, soft and warm as he cautiously let himself curl around the smaller man. He wasn’t sure what would happen in the morning, a small part of him terrified that Hanzo might retreat, but he didn’t pull away, closing his eyes once more and letting the sound of Hanzo’s breathing lull him slowly to sleep.

**

     When Hanzo woke the next morning, he realised that there were arms wrapped tightly around him, his face crushed against a warm chest and he tensed. It had been a long time since he had been this close to someone without being injured, and his breath caught, memories of other hands…crueller hands, bodies crowding in around him with ill intent surging to the front and suddenly he was fighting, gasping for breath.

“Hanzo! HANZO!” It was only when two mismatched hands gripped his face, firm enough to hold him in place but not enough to hurt that he stilled, trembling as he found himself staring into worried, tawny eyes. It took a moment for him to recognise them, releasing a shuddering breath as he blinked, gaze slowly moving over McCree’s face, drinking in the familiar features and slowly taking another deep breath and then another. _McCree.._. “Hanzo?” He shook his head, not ready to try and sign just yet, not wanting McCree to see how badly his hands were trembling, although given that he had still to release his face he could probably feel it already. “Sweetheart, look at me.”

     He didn’t even realise that he had glanced away, overwhelmed by the need to hide his weakness, and slowly he let his gaze drift upwards once more, meeting McCree’s gaze. “I didn’t mean to startle you.” Hanzo had to appreciate his choice of words, lips quirking faintly before he shook his head. McCree could never frighten him, not intentionally anyway and he frowned, wondering when he had realised that fact although he didn’t disagree. There was a lingering glint of worry in the tawny eyes that bothered him, and reluctantly he pulled back, already missing the sensation of McCree’s fingers against his face, hands steadier than he expected.

 ** _You didn’t._** McCree’s expression told him exactly what the other man thought of that, and he scowled before explaining. ** _I forgot where I was._** In fact, now that the panic was fading and his vision wasn’t filled with McCree, he realised that he was in the gunslinger’s room. Not only that, but he was in his bed, and he could feel the colour seeping into his face even as he frantically signed at the other man. ** _Why am I here?_**

“I’m wounded,” McCree joked, not quite as light-hearted as normal, but his expression easing out now that Hanzo was responding properly. It had terrified him when he’d been woken by the archer thrashing in his arms, guilt surging up when he caught a glimpse of Hanzo’s face twisted with terror. The terror that he had put there however unintentionally, but now those dark eyes were focused, the paleness replaced with an unexpected, but rather endearing blush. “You don’t remember our night together?” At any other time, the expression on Hanzo’s face would have had him howling with laughter. He didn’t think he had ever seen the other man look so flustered before, hell, he hadn’t thought that it was possible, but Hanzo was gaping at him, mouth moving soundlessly, hands limp in his lap and after a moment he took pity on him. Gently, watching for a negative reaction, he brushed a finger against Hanzo’s throat. “You wore yourself out showing me your voice, and you fell asleep. I didn’t want to move you.” There was no way he was going to admit that the thought hadn’t even entered his mind.

**_I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to be an inconvenience._ **

Of course, that would be what he took from it, and McCree fought back a growl, letting his hands fall away so that he could sign back. Having learnt from watching Hanzo over the weeks that he tended to believe things if someone took the effort to sign them and sure enough the dark eyes immediately darted down to his hands.

 ** _It wasn’t._** _Inconvenience?_ He thought back to the night before, remembering how happy he had been at the proof that Hanzo trusted him and his expression softened. **_I liked having you here_ , **his movements were awkward, he was still rusty when it came to signing, and he wanted…needed….to get this right, carefully watching Hanzo and catching the flicker of something in the dark eyes before the archer glanced away, and he bit at his bottom lip, wondering if he had said the wrong thing.

     Hanzo didn’t know what to say, his hands twisting nervously in his lap. How long had it been since someone had welcomed his company? Yes, Genji had asked him to join Overwatch and welcomed him with open arms despite everything, and the others had been kinder than he expected given his past…but did they like having him here? He wasn’t blind, he knew that there was more to what McCree was saying, more to the fact that he had let himself fall asleep in front of the other man…but he didn’t know how to react to that knowledge. Part of him - the part of him that had broken a long time ago screaming at him not to trust the situation, but it was quieter than it had been for a long time because he did trust McCree. In fact, he trusted McCree more than he had trusted anyone, to an extent that it terrified him.

     Cautiously he lifted his head and glanced at McCree, unable to miss the concern in the tawny eyes and the way McCree was biting his lip, the same nervous tic he displayed when he turned the conversation towards the past, and the older members like Angela would tense. For a moment, he wondered if McCree was regretting what he had said or if hadn’t meant it, but there was concern there. Worry for him, and he blinked, the way McCree’s hands twitched as though he was about to sign at him, hesitance in every movement. That wasn’t how McCree was supposed to be, and certainly not because of him…or because of what he had said, and Hanzo gathered his courage. **_Really?_** It wasn’t quite what he wanted to say, but it was a start, and it seemed to be enough because McCree relaxed, although there was a sad edge to his smile.

 ** _Really. I…_** He faltered, he didn’t have the skills to say what he wanted with his hands, but Hanzo was looking at him now, watching him intently and he sighed before speaking aloud. “It meant a lot that you trusted me enough to fall asleep here.” He was rewarded by the same flustered look as earlier, but Hanzo didn’t retreat. Instead, he seemed to visibly gather himself before reaching out, fingers ghosting briefly over the back of McCree’s hand before tentatively grasping it. The touch was fleeting, but it spoke more than words ever cover, as did the small smile that was tugging at the archer’s mouth.  “Hanzo…”

     Hanzo had no idea what possessed him at that moment. Maybe it was hearing that the trust wasn’t one-sided, or the way McCree’s fingers had twitched as though he was about to try and grasp his hand in return, or maybe it was the warmth in the gunslinger’s eyes and the smile that had brightened now that he knew that he hadn’t said the wrong thing. Whatever it was, it gave him courage that he hadn’t felt in a long time, leaning in and pressing his lips against McCree’s. It was clumsy, both of them caught by surprise and he pulled back in alarm as he realised what he had done…they had been talking about trust, not about…whatever this was, and he could feel panic rising, the urge to flee setting in and he might have given into the temptation if he hadn’t found himself held in place by a warm hand grasping his. “Hanzo, please....” There was a wealth of emotions in McCree’s voice that he couldn’t put a name too, but there was no mistaking the kiss that followed, a tentative pressure against his lips that made him pause and slowly melt into the sensation.

     McCree reluctantly lets him pull away after a moment, although he didn’t release the grip he had on his hand, instead lifting it to press a playful kiss to the back of it.

“Good morning.” Hanzo couldn’t help but smile at the greeting, marvelling at how ease he felt, although he wasn’t blind to the blush staining his cheeks and he was about to pull his hand back so that he could reply, only to blink as there was a tingle in his tattoo.

“Good morning.” He hadn’t even meant to use the dragons, caught by surprise as they surged to the surface, although the warm smile that greeted the echo of his former voice made it worth it. When McCree continued to stare at him, studying him as though he hadn’t seen him before, or rather as though he was trying to imprint his image on his memory, he ducked his head and pulled his hand free, immediately missing the warmth.   ** _I…I will see you later,_ **he softened the words with a quick glance and a half smile when he saw the worry that had greeted them, reaching out for a second, fingers brushing McCree’s before he pushed himself on the bed.

“See you at breakfast?” McCree wanted to stop him from leaving, but he could tell that Hanzo was overwhelmed and he didn’t want to push him too far, but he couldn’t mask his hope or fear. He had been caught off guard when Hanzo had kissed him, it had been more than he had expected or hoped for and at the same time it had been everything, but he didn’t want it to change everything. He hadn’t even realised that he was holding his breath until Hanzo turned to look back at him, flustered but still meeting his gaze, and his hands when he replied were steady.

**_Of course, I will see you there._ **

****

    McCree’s fear that things would change after the unexpected events of that movement proved unfounded. Breakfast that day had been a little awkward, neither of them knowing quite what to say to one another or how to act and McCree had been prepared to give the other man space, expecting Hanzo to seize the opportunity.  Instead, he had been surprised, but pleased when Hanzo had continued to seek him out daily, continued to challenge him in the training ranges and worked with him on the two short scouting missions that Winston had allowed the archer to go on. It was as though nothing had really changed, and yet it had. Hanzo was still wary around the others, especially his brother although Genji had done his best to gentle his attitude towards him and continued to hound McCree and Angela for sign language lessons when he was on base.

   Yet the faint traces of wariness he had still shown around McCree before that night had vanished and with it the distance between them. They hadn’t kissed again, but they would sit closer than necessary even when surrounded by the others, and there were gentle touches here and there - a brush of a shoulder as they walked down the corridor, a clap on the shoulder after a good training session, a knee against his as they sat in on briefings. However, even more, telling was the fact that Hanzo now spent most nights in McCree’s room. At first, he had come up with any number of reasons to stay until it was too late to return to his own room without drawing unwelcome attention. His efforts had been more amusing than anything, reminding McCree of just how cunning the other man could be, but he had been even happier the first night that Hanzo hadn’t bothered coming up with a reason, just curling up against his side and signing that he was spending the night.

**

     McCree couldn’t help but smile at that memory, glancing around his room and seeing the little signs that spoke of Hanzo’s cohabitation. The book laid on the bedside table next to a small figurine of a green dragon, clothes neatly folded in the bottom of the wardrobe until they could get a bigger one, and Storm bow carefully stored away while the archer was visiting Angela in the infirmary for yet another consultation. The fact that Hanzo felt comfortable leaving his most precious belonging here with him told him more than the other items, and he studied the bow for a moment before glancing around again. If anyone walked in, there would be no mistaking Hanzo’s presence here, something that pleased him more than he would admit, even to the archer even as it pained him to see just how little the archer had in the way of material belongings.

    He was contemplating heading down to the kitchen for some proper coffee, surprised that Genji hadn’t appeared because he knew the younger Shimada had come back from a mission the day before and he always seemed to know when his brother was otherwise occupied. However, he had barely pushed himself off the bed when his communicator beeped, and he sighed - if this was another emergency mission. He had been less than happy the week before when Winston had sent him on a mission with Tracer and Lucio, refusing to let Hanzo accompany them because it hadn’t been a scouting mission. And while Hanzo hadn’t said anything about being left behind, he knew that it had bothered him, coming home to find Hanzo worn out and Athena’s records showing that he had clocked up a ridiculous number of hours on the training range. He was almost tempted to ignore it, only reaching for it when Hanzo’s face flashed through his mind, just imagining the disapproving expression that he would be receiving if the archer knew what he was thinking and sighed with exasperation as he snatched it up.

“McCree speaking.”

 _“Is Hanzo with you?”_ Angela’s voice burst through the speaker, and he winced, it was rare for her to lose her normal calm and it took him a moment to register what she had said, concern immediately driving every other thought from his mind.

“No. I thought that he was with you?” The silence that followed was telling, and he waited for her to reply as he shifted from side to side, barely lasting a moment before demanding a response.  “Angela?”  

_“I found something that might work, but…”_

“But…”

 _“He didn’t say anything about it, just thanked me and then left, but there was something about his expression.”_ Angela trailed off, and McCree forced himself to wait, sensing that she had something more to say. _“Jesse, I’m worried.”_ The use of his first name told him how serious she was, and he pinched the bridge of his nose. _Hanzo what are you thinking?_ The archer had been strangely quiet about what progress the healer was making in finding something to help with his voice, even when McCree had tried to draw more information from him, he had only got vague answers, and he sighed, wishing that he had demanded more.

“I’ll find him.”

_“Should I alert the others.”_

“No.” McCree didn’t hesitate, knowing that Hanzo wouldn’t want to have the whole base looking for him, especially if he was upset, and the risk of Genji being the one to find him, he shook his head. “I’ll take care of it.” He hung up, not waiting for a response although he was sure that she would call him on it earlier, growling under his breath as he headed for the door.

Things had been going so well.

**

    McCree sighed with relief as he finally spotted the familiar figure of the archer perched on the edge of the cliff, speeding up before Hanzo could realise that he was there and try to disappear on him. Panic had been starting to settle in after he had checked all their usual haunts only to come up empty-handed. He’d just started to think that he should have taken Angela up on her offer to get help when he had run into Tracer when he checked the practice ranges, and she’d recalled seeing Hanzo heading outside a short while ago.

    He didn’t say anything when he reached Hanzo’s side, quietly settling beside him, eyeing the drop beneath them for a moment before glancing at the archer out of the corner of his eye. Hanzo’s barriers were up, his emotions hidden and in the past, McCree would have been stymied, but the last few months and especially the last month had left him adept at seeing what lay beneath the blank mask and he sighed at the pain in the dark eyes. Whatever had caused this had clearly dragged up the past, and he hesitated, wanting to say something to ease it, but finally sighing and settling in to wait, trusting that Hanzo would talk to him when he was ready.

     As the silence stretched on and on, he began to think that maybe he had been wrong and he was just searching for a way to break the silence when he felt fingers snaking into the material of his shirt, tugging until he turned his head fully to look at the archer. Hanzo wasn’t looking at him, gaze fixed on some distant point, but he seemed to know that he had McCree’s attention because he released his sleeve and began to sign, movements jerky as he continued to look away from him.      

 ** _Angela has found something that might help._**  Hanzo explained, gesturing towards his neck before adding. ** _An implant._**

“I know,” McCree figured that there was no danger in admitting that much, although apparently, Hanzo hadn’t been expecting it because dark eyes darted towards him for a minute, before glancing away again and McCree sighed.  “Isn’t this what you wanted?” He asked cautiously. Now that he thought about it, Hanzo had never indicated a preference either way, he had just assumed the fact that he was helping Angela with his research…and the fact that he obviously wanted to get back to full duty, meant that this was what he had wanted, and he was quietly kicking himself for that assumption when Hanzo replied.

**_I am unsure._ **

“Why?”

 ** _This silence. I hated it at first, cursed it._** Hanzo scowled, clearly lacking the words to explain what he meant but McCree nodded in understanding, remembering how he had felt before he’d received his own implants before he had adapted to the silence. He had loathed it. He’d hated the constant reminder of what he had lost, hated the fact that it had left him trapped in a world that very few people could understand. Yes, he could understand all too well where Hanzo was coming from, blinking when Hanzo’s expression softened slightly. ** _But now…_ **

“You’re too used to the silence?” McCree hazarded a guess, thinking about the comforting feeling of turning off his implants every now and then and plunging himself into silence, especially now that he had someone to share it with. Hanzo hadn’t agreed or disagreed with his words, and he hesitated for a moment before reaching out, fingers barely brushing his elbow as he added softly. “You’re frightened about losing it.” He had been overwhelmed when he’d used his implants for the first time, but for Hanzo, the silence had lasted longer and run deeper until had become a way of life, and now that was being threatened, even if it was supposed to be for the better.

 ** _Yes._** Hanzo admitted hesitantly, leaning into the touch before pulling away, hands trembling as he tried to explain not sure that he would be able to. He hadn’t even known that he felt this strongly about it until today when Angela had stood in front of him and told him she’d found something, and he’d been faced with the reality of losing the silence - of losing the thing that had brought him and McCree closer. Everything had risen up and overwhelmed him, almost sweeping him away. However, having McCree next to him, understanding him even when he couldn’t put it into words, was making it easier to think and slowly he began to explain. **_To be able to speak to Genji without any barriers would be a blessing, to be able to fight alongside you and the others without hesitation…but I am not sure it is enough to make me give up this silence. Is that selfish of me?_**

   

 


	5. Chapter 5

_Is that selfish of me?_

   It had taken a moment longer than it should have for that question to register, McCree had been too caught up in the emotions playing across Hanzo’s face and the tremor in his hands as he shaped the words, and when it had, McCree had found himself floundering. _Was it selfish?_ If he was entirely honest, he had never even thought about the possibility that Hanzo might not want to regain his voice once he had the option. After all, the archer had gone along with Angela’s research willingly enough and had even talked about what it would mean if he could speak again, and at some point, McCree realised he had just accepted it as a given. He hadn’t doubted for a minute that Angela would find the answer sooner or later and that had been that, but now as he met Hanzo’s anxious gaze, he felt his breath catch and realised that it wasn’t like that at all.

“No, I don’t think it is.” The words slipped out before he had even realised that he’d found his answer, but the moment he said them aloud he knew that he had meant them. He remembered how it had felt to have the silence taken away from him all those years ago, remembered the long hours that he had spent with his hands clasped over his ears in an attempt to drown out the world, wishing that he had never let them give him back his hearing. That feeling had eased over the years, but it had taken a long time, and it had never faded completely. There were still moments when he wanted nothing more than to tear out the implants and destroy them for good. If he had felt like that. If he still felt like that, then how could he expect Hanzo to feel any different, especially when the archer had spent far longer living in silence than he had and he sighed. “It’s not selfish at all.”

   Apparently, that wasn’t the answer that Hanzo had been expecting because when he glanced up, it was to find Hanzo staring at him wide-eyed, mouth open in surprise and McCree had found himself smiling slightly as he reached out to nudge it shut. He half expected a response then, but Hanzo was still staring at him. “Hanzo?” Abruptly Hanzo’s expression tightened and he shook his head, pulling away and beginning to sign at him, hands trembling worse than before.

**_But…_ **

“Hanzo,” McCree cut him off, recognising the guilt that had surged to the surface. It was an expression he recognised from the long nights where Hanzo’s sleep was interrupted by nightmares and reaching down he trapped Hanzo’s hands, stopping him from continuing with his protest before adding softly. “This is about you, and what you want.” As much as he knew that the continued tension between the brothers was hurting both Hanzo and Genji, he knew that wasn’t what was bothering Hanzo, and he squeezed the trembling hands, knowing that he was treading in dangerous territory. “What happened between you and Genji is not part of this.” Hanzo was pulling against his hold now, and McCree tightened his grip once more, knowing that Hanzo wasn’t planning on agreeing with him and refusing to give him the chance to argue, tone firm as he added. “It isn’t.”

   He knew that wasn’t strictly true. That what had happened to Hanzo could have been prevented if things had gone differently between him and Genji. Then again many things could have been different, better...if Hanzo hadn’t obeyed his family back then, or if Genji had stopped rebelling, but as far as McCree was concerned that was in the past. It couldn’t be changed. And it didn’t affect the decision that Hanzo was going to have to make because Genji hadn’t been the one who’d had his voice stolen from him and he tugged on Hanzo’s hands until Hanzo reluctantly met his gaze. “You were the one that was attacked, the one who lost his voice. That means that this is your decision to make, and yours alone.”

   He had been braced for more protests as this was an argument that he had never won before, because no matter what he said, Hanzo refused to believe that he could be free of what he had done back then. Or worse he was ready for Hanzo to pull away completely, because as close as they had become there were still times when the archer would retreat from him. Therefore, he was utterly unprepared when Hanzo went perfectly still for a moment, head bowed so that McCree couldn’t see his face and he was growing increasingly concerned when he felt Hanzo’s fingers curling against his, the touch feathery light and almost timid. Then Hanzo was leaning into him, practically falling against him as though all the strength had gone out of him.

   Alarmed he hastily released Hanzo’s hands in favour of catching him, highly aware of the drop beneath them, although that was forgotten as he felt the tremors wracking Hanzo and when he ducked his head to peer at Hanzo’s face his mouth went dry. Hanzo was crying. Hanzo. He didn’t say anything, merely gathering Hanzo close and holding on tight, letting the other man hide against him, knowing that he wouldn’t want to be seen like this. On the thankfully rare occasions that the nightmares had been bad enough to reduce him to a similar state, Hanzo had fled back to his now rarely used rooms and hidden away until the next day, and McCree found himself tightening his hold when he realised that this was another sign of trust. He could feel Hanzo grasping at his back, the grip bordering on desperate and he had a feeling that it was going to leave bruises. He didn’t care.

   What he didn’t understand though was what had caused this, what he had said wrong, because only a moment before Hanzo had been poised to fight him and now…Now, he was sobbing, little hitching breaths the only sound to betray that fact and McCree found himself getting distracted by the thought of what Hanzo must have done during the long years on the run, growling under his breath at the mere idea of Hanzo going through this alone.

   He still had no idea what had caused this by the time that he felt Hanzo beginning to calm in his arms, the death grip loosening a little even as Hanzo slumped further against him and McCree frowned in sympathy. He knew what it felt like to have meltdowns like that, closing his eyes when he remembered having similar moments during the first few weeks…months…of Blackwatch. Back when everything, his past, the pressure of living up to the second chance he had been given, the lingering threat of prison and the suspicion from the other agents had become too much. It had hurt. It had exhausted him. And now the memory came with a pang as he remembered how it had always been Gabriel who comforted him through the worst of them once he had realised what was happening and McCree sighed, burying his nose into Hanzo’s hair for a moment, inhaling the archer’s scent and using it to ground himself in the present.

“Hanzo?” He murmured once he felt a little calmer, realising that he was supporting more of Hanzo’s weight than before although he could tell from the pattern of his breathing that he wasn’t asleep just yet and he nudged him gently, not willing to pull away yet but needing a reply. “Sweetheart?” He felt the face that Hanzo pulled at the nickname and snorted softly, beyond relieved at the hint of normality, even as he tugged lightly at the dark hair. “Sweetheart. Darling…” He could feel Hanzo’s scowl deepening as the archer continued to burrow against him and he knew that it wouldn’t take much more to draw a proper response from him, and he grinned wickedly as he let his lips drift down to Hanzo’s ear, kissing the tip before whispering softly. “Loveling.”

   At any other time, he knew that the barrage of nicknames, let alone that last one would have earned him a hard punch to the arm. Today all it did was make Hanzo reluctantly pull away enough to peer up at him, a hint of annoyance in his eyes although it lacked its usual heat, dimmed with exhaustion and pain and McCree felt his own expression soften as he took in the red-rimmed eyes and the wet trails on Hanzo’s cheeks. “Are you going to tell me what brought this on?” He asked, reaching out to brush away some of the lingering tears, unsurprised when Hanzo immediately tensed and tried to duck his head, but McCree was having none of it, gently gripping his chin to stop him and pleading with him. “Please?” Hanzo stared at him for a moment before nodding slightly, and this time McCree let him pull away, already missing his warmth but watching intently as Hanzo stared down at his hands for a minute before beginning to sign at him.

**_You said that it was my decision._ **

   McCree froze. He knew that he shouldn’t have been as surprised as he was, after all, he had heard stories of what both Genji and Hanzo had been forced to endure under their family’s reign, knew how little freedom Hanzo, in particular, had been allowed. And yet for something so simple to be able to undo Hanzo like this, he closed his eyes, an apology on his lips. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to _…” Upset you_ , was what he was going to say, but there was a gentle touch on his arm before he could finish and he opened his eyes to find Hanzo looking at him with a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.

 ** _You meant it?_** McCree couldn’t get his voice to work right then, settling for nodding instead, alarmed when for a moment, it looked as though Hanzo might shatter again. Then the archer visibly appeared to gather himself although his hands showed that it was still a work in progress, shaking so badly that it took McCree a moment to work out what he was trying to say. **_Thank you._**

   _Thank you_ , as though McCree pointing out the obvious had been one of the most important things he’d ever heard, and yet at the same time McCree understood, and so he settled for offering Hanzo a strained smile before cautiously pulling him closer again, relieved when Hanzo came willingly.

“You don’t have to give Angela an answer right away,” he pointed out reasonably, fingers gentle as he worked to brush away the lingering evidence of Hanzo’s tears, letting his fingers rest against his cheek as Hanzo blinked wearily up at him. “The option isn’t going to go away just because you want some time to think about it.”

 ** _What would you do?_** Hanzo hadn’t bothered pulling away this time, clumsily signing the question to him and McCree sighed, one hand going to his ears once more. What would he do? Back then there had been no other choice, he needed to fight, to work and for that, he had needed his ears as much as he had hated to admit it, but now…now there were other options, and despite Winston’s worries he knew that Hanzo could work in the field, hell he had been before they had learned the truth. He didn’t need his voice, but…

“I don’t know,” he admitted finally, realising that his thoughts were beginning to circle. “Back when I first got the implants I hated then, it was too much after the silence, but now…” As much as he loved the silence, he knew that the implants were the reason that he was still here and why he was still as effective as he was in the field. Hanzo was studying him and frowning, and his movements were even more hesitant as he asked.

**_Do you want me to do this? Do you want to hear my voice?_ **

“I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought about it,” McCree admitted cautiously, worried that his words would be taken the wrong way and he was relieved when Hanzo’s expression didn’t change, waiting to see where he was going with this. There was no way he was going to admit to how many times he had woken at night, his dreams filled with the voice he had heard but once, or tell Hanzo about the fleeting moments of disappointment when he realised that it had just been a dream.

    Instead, he reached up to brush his fingers across Hanzo’s cheek, gently letting his fingers dip to brush against his neck. He kept the touch brief, moving his hand the moment he felt Hanzo beginning to tense, although he remained pressed against the smaller man, letting his hand fall lower so that he could twine their fingers together before continuing. “You have a beautiful voice, and I would like to hear it again.” Hanzo was shifting now, uneasiness seeping into his expression and McCree shook his head to stop him, lifting his head to meet wary eyes. “But, I don’t need to…this.” He reached up to tap his ears, before reaching out again to lightly touch Hanzo’s throat. “Doesn’t matter to me. If you want to stay as you are, then that is fine. If you want to speak again, then I will be there by your bedside when you wake up.”

   It was as simple as that, he realised as he saw Hanzo’s expression contort for a moment, the rapid blinking telling him that the archer was fighting tears once more and he drew him into another hug. Feeling the way Hanzo’s heart was hammering in his chest and the way his breath stuttered against McCree’s neck as he fought to stop the tears. McCree let him be, just holding on and considering his own words. He might never have thought about Hanzo refusing the treatment, but he didn’t care. Or rather he wouldn’t force the issue, as long as it was what Hanzo wanted then that was fine.

**

   It had been another half hour before they had finally left the cliff top, giving Hanzo a chance to regain his composure before risking facing the others and by the time they moved the weakness that he had shown McCree was firmly tucked back beneath a mask. However, he didn’t protest when McCree slung an arm over his shoulder and guided him back through the base and towards what he was increasingly coming to consider as ‘their’ quarters. He had put up a token protest when upon arrival McCree had tried to convince him to rest, or instead succeeded, because the moment McCree had mentioned rest, he had realised just how weary he felt. His protests fading when the gunslinger had got down on his knees and slowly and tenderly helped remove his shoes, placing teasing kisses on his knees through his clothes before nudging him back and onto the bed. It had been McCree removing his own shoes and then crawling under the covers with him that had really silenced his protests though, and he had willingly curled up against McCree, finding his eyes already shutting before McCree had finished tugging the covers around them and he was gone a moment later.

   McCree smiled at the sleeping archer unsurprised that he had crashed so easily, remembering how he had done exactly the same after his own outbursts, only there hadn’t been someone for him to curl up next to. He stayed where he was for a while, tired, but not tired enough to sleep, and content to lay there for the time being and just watch Hanzo as he slept, enjoying the expressions that the archer pulled whenever he shifted in his sleep with his usual inhibitions weakened by sleep.

   Eventually, once he was sure that Hanzo was resting peacefully and he found himself becoming restless, some of his earlier words replaying through his mind, he carefully eased himself out from under the covers. He paused when Hanzo promptly rolled over into the warm patch he had left behind, eyes tender as he watched the other man settle before tucking the covers back around him, unable to resist leaning in and pressing a kiss to Hanzo’s cheek. Quietly he rooted through the bedside drawer, locating a scrap of paper and scrawling a quick note in case Hanzo woke while he was gone, setting it on the top so that he would see it right away before toeing on his boots once more and slipping out of the room.

   He was relieved that he hadn’t met anyone in the corridors, fairly sure the last couple of hours would be written over his face and unwilling to say anything before he knew what Hanzo wanted to do. There was only one person he could talk to, one person he needed to talk to and it didn’t take him long to find himself outside the infirmary, easing the door open and peering inside to make sure there was no one else there before slipping inside. Thankfully all the beds were empty, a testament to the fact that their last few missions had been uneventful and he made his way across to the small office in the back, unsurprised to find Angela bent over her desk, papers and screens arrayed around her and he frowned as he spied Hanzo’s name on one of the displays. She’s still working on it? Taking a deep breath, he knocked lightly on the door, wincing when she jumped at the sound before whirling to face him, her hand inching down to where she usually kept her handgun and once again he was reminded of how dangerous this woman could be.

“Sorry Angela, I didn’t mean to startle you. Could I have a word?” He glanced at the papers spread out in front of her and noted the large mug of coffee, feeling bad for disturbing her when she was working, but at least she didn’t look irritated. Instead, her gaze immediately darted behind him as though she was expecting to see someone else, and he saw her concern deepen when she realised that he was alone.

“Did you find him?” McCree nodded quickly to reassure her realising that he should have messaged her back when he first found Hanzo, but he’d had other things on his mind at the time. He shrugged that thought off, stepping further into the office and removing his hat, twisting it nervously in his fingers as he tried to work out what to say. He had no idea what Hanzo was going to decide about the treatment, or how long it was going to take for him to make up his mind and for a moment he regretted coming before trying to get a more definite answer. But he had told Hanzo that he had time to decide, and he needed to make sure that was true. “Jesse?”

“He…Hanzo’s not ready to accept the treatment just yet,” McCree muttered. _He might never be_ , he could see the surprise and the dismay in her eyes, knowing that she had grown closer to the archer ever since he had reached out to talk to her in sign language and that she had pushed herself further than she should to find an answer, and he sighed. “I told him that he had time to make a decision…but…”

“Of course,” Angela didn’t look offended, just tired…and sad as she offered him a strained smile. “I will assemble what I need just in case, but the decision is up to him. And Jesse?”

“Yeah?”

“Tell him that he is still welcome here.” McCree hated the fact that they both knew Hanzo well enough now to know that he would need the reassurance. Anyone else would have assumed that they would still be welcome, but not Hanzo. “I’d miss our chats.”

“I will,” McCree murmured with a grateful smile, knowing that would help reassure Hanzo that it really was his decision to make and while Hanzo hadn’t said as much he knew that his partner enjoyed the time he spent with Angela, as there was always a lightness to his expression when he returned. “Thank you.” He lingered awkwardly for a moment, aware that he didn’t really spend enough time with her these days and yet keen to get back before Hanzo woke to an empty room and Angela smiled knowingly at him as he shifted from foot to foot.

“Go.” He opened his mouth to protest, but then snapped it shut at the stern look she shot him and grinning sheepishly before he placed his hat back on his head.

“Thanks, Doc.” She waved him off with a smile already turning back to her work, and he slipped away, deciding to go via the kitchen as neither of them had made it to lunch with everything that had happened and having a feeling that Hanzo wouldn’t want to be around the others for the rest of the day. Distracted by his thoughts and wondering if they still had some of Hanzo’s favourite tea stashed away he failed to notice the figure that followed him out of the infirmary, the green glow more subdued than usual and vents hissing softly as he clenched his hands at his sides.

_Hanzo, why?_

****

   McCree carefully avoided the topic for the next few days, and Hanzo never raised it, but he knew that it was never far from the other man’s mind. Catching the way he would run his fingers over his throat when he thought that no one was looking and how his gaze would linger on his brother when they were in the same room. Part of him knew that they needed to talk about it, but more importantly, he wanted it to be Hanzo’s decision, and so he made sure that Hanzo knew that he was there if and when he wanted to talk and settled in to wait him out. He assumed that Angela had done the same, because once he had relayed her message, Hanzo had spent more than one afternoon in the infirmary with her, and there was no sign that she had raised the issue either. And he knew that more than his own understanding had helped to put Hanzo’s mind at ease about taking the time to consider things.

  Instead, he found himself being more concerned about Genji as the younger man had been acting strangely for the last few days, avoiding both of them as much as possible which was unusual as he had taken to hounding McCree for more lessons whenever he was on the base. When they did encounter one another it always seemed as though he had something he wanted to ask, but the question never came, and McCree had found himself actively seeking him out when Hanzo was otherwise occupied in the hopes of getting to the bottom of it before it became a more serious problem.

   In the end, it was Genji who sought him out, slipping into the practice range when he was putting Peacekeeper through its paces after he’d been forced to repair it. He noticed the other’s arrival but didn’t say anything, working his way through the last of the targets and nodding in satisfaction when Athena’s screen lit up to show him that every shot had been on target. Checking his gun carefully, he ended the simulation and turned to look at Genji, still not speaking for fear that if he did then the other man might never voice whatever was bothering him. The silence was just becoming uncomfortable when Genji finally moved, taking a few steps towards him before stopping again, his hands curling into fists at his side and McCree frowned as he noticed the action, one of the few tells that the other had in the armour.

“Jesse.”

“What is it?”

“Angela found a way to help him speak?” Genji demanded, and McCree froze, shocked that he knew and worried by the anger he could hear beneath the question. Slowly he slipped his gun away into his holster, using the motion to try and gather his thoughts, glad that Hanzo wasn’t supposed to be meeting him here today because he had a feeling that things would get volatile if they were together at the moment.

“How did you hear about that?”

“I was going to see her in the infirmary, and I overheard what you said.”

“Yes, she found something.” There was no point in denying that at this point although he wanted to curse, knowing that Hanzo hadn’t wanted the others to know just yet. That he hadn’t wanted his brother to know. However, he didn’t want Genji to think that was the end of it, not sure just how much the Ninja had managed to overhear and cursing himself for missing the fact that they hadn’t been alone that evening. “But…”

“I heard what you said, that he isn’t ready for it,” Genji cut him off, tone sharp before he sighed, vents flaring for a moment before his shoulders fell and some of the anger faded from his voice as he admitted softly. “I don’t understand.” McCree had a feeling that he knew where this was going but he wasn’t about to make it easy for him if only to buy himself some more time to work out what he could and couldn’t say without betraying Hanzo’s confidence.

“Don’t understand what?”

“Why he would choose to remain like that!” Genji replied, voice rising again and McCree fought back a sigh as he waited, sensing that Genji wasn’t done yet. “Why he won’t let her help! Why he doesn’t…” _Why he doesn’t want to speak to me._

“Genji…” McCree had caught the unspoken words, and he sighed. While he was still unhappy with how Genji had reacted to Hanzo’s muteness at the start even though he knew it had been a shock, he had seen how hard Genji had been trying to learn to talk to his brother, knew how much the two of them wanted to mend the bridges between them. It made this situation that much more awkward because he did understand, but it was Hanzo’s choice.

“I’ve been trying to learn sign language so that I can reach out to him,” Genji muttered almost as though he hadn’t heard him, looking down at his hands and hesitantly signing his brother’s name before curling them back into fists as he growled. “But if he won’t reach out…”

“Enough,” McCree said sharply, refusing to let that train of thought go any further. The last thing they needed was for Genji to lose his temper again, and he took a step forward, knowing that the movement would make Genji look up and making sure to meet the green glare of his visor as he stopped. “This has nothing to do with the issues between the two of you.”

“Then…”

“He’s lived with that silence for a very long time,” McCree softened his voice, even though part of him wanted to take Genji and shake him. This was what he had been trying to get him to understand during their lessons, but it was clear that it hadn’t properly sunk in just how important that silence could be. “He’s grown used to it, and the thought of losing that silence…it’s terrifying.”

“But…” Genji tried to protest, and McCree cut him off with a sharp shake of his head, slowly reaching up to touch his ears, a tacit reminder that he knew what he was talking about and he was pleased to see Genji subside.

“There are still days when I want nothing more to get rid of my implants and just go back to that silence, and I lived it for less time that Hanzo has.” McCree lowered his hands, moving across and reaching out to rest a hand on Genji’s shoulder before adding sternly. “You need to give him time, and let him make up his own mind about this, but don’t think this is because he doesn’t want to talk to you, because he does.” He could remember the uncertainty, the fear when Hanzo had asked if he was being selfish to even think about not having the treatment, and part of him wished that he could share those words with Genji. To make him realise just how much Hanzo wanted to reach out to him even if he wasn’t ready to accept the thought of his brother forgiving him. But those words had been between them, and he didn’t want to share them without permission, and so he worried at his bottom lip, before sighing again. “Just give him time.” There was nothing else he could say right now, and he half expected Genji to shout at him, but the younger man was still before slumping with a nod, although his words showed that he wasn’t quite ready to give up on the matter just yet.

“But…I want to hear his voice again.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For @fireflyquill

 

    The topic of what Hanzo was going to do was still hanging mostly unspoken between them a week later, although late one night, the archer had abruptly rolled over, pressing his face into McCree’s chest as the glow of the dragons filled the room. **_I promise I am thinking about it_** _,_ he’d whispered through the Dragons, lips moving in time with the words and tickling McCree’s skin, and he’d tried to focus on that sensation rather than the longing that bubbled up at the sound of his partner’s voice. And it was that promise, that was playing through his mind as they found themselves in the training range with Genji, Lena and Angela to run through a simulation under Winston’s watchful gaze.

    Both Genji and Lena were fresh back a mission the day before, the latter visibly tired despite having retreated to her quarters early the night before, while they both bore the evidence of a hard fight having refused to let Angela touch the myriad cuts and bruises after their haphazard withdrawal after a clash with Talon in Paris. Not that the lingering tiredness and soreness seemed to have dimmed Lena’s enthusiasm any as she was buzzing around as they prepared, chatting to all of them as though nothing rested on the outcome of this session. In comparison, Genji had barely said more than two words to any of them since arriving, although his gaze lingered on his brother as they all checked their weapons, and finally, McCree moved to block his line of sight as he caught the deepening frown on Hanzo’s face.

“Are you sure about this?” He asked, voice deliberately low, watching the complicated mix of emotions that passed over Hanzo’s face before the archer nodded, his gaze flicking to his brother over McCree’s shoulder, and then across to where Winston was bent over a terminal talking with Athena before his shoulders sank a little.

**_I need to do this._ **

It didn’t really answer his question, but it was an answer in and of itself, and he nodded and took half a step back to give Hanzo some room as he turned his attention back to his own weapon, wishing that he could ask Genji the same thing. The two brothers

had yet to have the conversation they so clearly needed to have, and Hanzo had been on edge ever since he’d told him that Genji knew about Angela’s discovery, and Hanzo’s subsequent hesitation, waiting for the explosion to come. McCree found himself in a similar boat as Genji’s words had left him worried that he would speak up. However, he had noticed that Genji had been watching them a little more before he’d been sent out on the last mission, and there had been a question in his gaze, that gave him hope that maybe just maybe his friend was starting to consider his words.

     Beside him, Hanzo was carefully running fingers along his bowstring, checking it carefully and seeming to relax as he did so, falling into the familiar rhythm and McCree found himself watching him.

_“Then let Hanzo back in the field,” McCree interrupted, leaning back in his seat, unrepentant as Winston frowned at him. “He never had a problem communicating with us before this, and we need him out there.” The Scientist’s gaze flickered across to the archer who was sat beside McCree, and on the other side of the table Genji shifted, and the gunslinger’s gaze darted to him, daring him to protest, before turning back to Winston who sighed._

_“I…”_

_“Test me if you want.” The same, soft voice that McCree remembered from the day that Hanzo had shown him how he’d spoken to Genji rang out, and when he turned back to the archer, he was unsurprised to see the blue glow around his arms. Genji had gone still, and with his mask lifted, there was no way to miss the shock, the anger…the realisation, and what McCree was pleased to realise was understanding before Hanzo added firmly. “I did not come here to sit on the sidelines.” Hanzo was trembling when McCree shifted to press against him, and he remembered what Hanzo had told him about how tiring it was to use the ability. And that it was easier where the Dragons had power, or where Hanzo felt safe. A hand gripped his knee, tight enough to bruise, and McCree felt his eyes widen in realisation, before he hastily schooled his expression, using the cover of the table to cover Hanzo’s hand in his, squeezing lightly._

_I’m here._

_“Angela?” Winston turned to look at Angela, and McCree noted that neither of them seemed too perturbed by the sudden voice, although the way the Scientist’s gaze lingered on Hanzo’s arm told the gunslinger that he had noticed the faint glow and had probably pieced together the ‘how’. At the end of the table, Angela set aside the reports she had been reading in an effort to avoid the debate that had been about to erupt._

_“I told you from the beginning that I felt he was safe to be in the field.” Her gaze shifted to Hanzo, and then to Genji, seeming to hesitate for a moment, and McCree had a feeling that she harboured the same concerns he did about how those two might react when working together. Although he knew from experience that Hanzo at least could be professional about it. “I hold to that, and I agree with McCree. We need everyone that we have in the field right now, and that includes Hanzo.” The hand he was holding, shifted away from his knee and he let go as Hanzo signed his gratitude._

**_Thank you._ **

**** _Winston watched the interaction, before glancing around at the others at the table, none of them raising a protest. Even Genji nodded to show that he agreed, although there was a trace of hesitation in the gesture, that had Hanzo tensing and with a sigh, Winston turned his gaze back to the archer._

_“If you are agreement, I would like to run a simulation,” he lifted a hand as McCree immediately bristled. “It is not that I doubt your assessments, but we’re already on a knife edge here, and I need to be certain.” McCree was still ready to say something, but Hanzo was shaking his head in warning, meeting his gaze and holding it. He was disappointed. McCree had been around him long enough now to read the emotions that he wouldn’t show entirely, but there was a spark in his eyes, one that had been missing in their training since he’d been pulled off active duty. It was a challenge, and he was taking it as one and McCree relaxed, the corner of his lips curling up into a wry smile._

    The spark was still there a day later, as McCree had pointed out that the others were still recovering from their mission, trying to conceal the fact that Hanzo’s use of the Dragons to give himself a voice had exhausted him. The lingering gleam in the dark eyes, combined with the extra care that Hanzo was taking with checking Stormbow, even though they had been on the range just that morning, he knew that the archer was leaving nothing to chance. Which was why he left him in peace, although there was something about watching him work that had McCree wanting to pull him into a heated kiss, something that he was sure the others wouldn’t appreciate and would probably leave Hanzo annoyed with him, as he was still very private about their shifting relationship.  Instead, he kept half an eye on him and on Genji, even as he shifted across to talk to Lena. He hadn’t worked with her much in the old days, but he found himself appreciating her energy and enthusiasm nowadays, although it exhausted him sometimes just to watch her zip around.

     She had just finished regaling with the tale of her last trip home to visit Emily, which had him laughing, even as his gaze rested on Hanzo with no small amount of longing. Everything they had was here in the Watchpoint, and he wanted to give him more. Maybe once they were back on top of things, he could talk Hanzo into taking a small break somewhere, he thought just as a siren began to blare above them before Athena’s voice rang out.

“Simulation starting in thirty seconds. Tactical simulation: City combat, scenario 63.”

    McCree threw a glower at Winston who looked just as unrepentant as he had looked when interrupting the Scientist at the meeting, and to be fair, he couldn’t blame him, because at least half their time in the field was being caught either by surprise or by things going awry. He wasn’t going to say as much though, instead moving back to Hanzo, and ignoring the fact that they weren’t in the privacy of their own rooms, he leant in and pressed a quick kiss to the archer’s cheek. “For luck,” he murmured as he pulled away, leaning out of reach of the swat that followed and ignoring the startled and in Angela’s case amused stares. Hanzo’s eyes were narrowed as he met his gaze, and McCree had a feeling that he would get an earful for it later, but there was also a hint of a smile playing around his lips that McCree only caught because he was looking for it, and the gunslinger grinned and tipped his hat. Taking another step back, just as the plain metal walls of the training range shimmered, and the floor plates began to grate as they shifted, allowing other walls to rise up as the terrain shifted in front of them.

     Moments later, unless they turned to look towards the exit or the control panel where Winston was sat, it was as though they were miles away from the training range in Watchpoint Gibraltar. Although McCree did grimace, as he recognised the stylings of Rialto in the cityscape that now seemed to stretch out around them, and out of the corner of his eye he saw Genji’s fist clench for a moment. That mission was still a sore point even after all this time, and he had to clamp down on the urge to growl at Winston for throwing this at them.

“Enemies incoming. Target is a weapons cache and is now marked on your communicators. The mission will end when the target is acquired, or when all team members are incapacitated. Kills will be recorded.” Athena’s voice thankfully interrupted before he could say anything, he probably wouldn’t regret, this time coming through their communicators, her warning arriving just before the first bots rounded the corner of the closest building, weapons already aimed at them.

“Move!” Angela had barely shouted before they all moved, splitting off to either side just as bullets tore through where they had been. Lena was a split second slower than the others, blue light flashing behind her as she accelerated out of the way, grabbing Angela’s elbow as she shot past, pulling the medic down. Genji, on the other hand, had darted across the ‘street’ to join McCree and Hanzo, drawing first blood so to speak as he buried one shuriken in the lead bot’s glowing, red optic, before joining them behind the wall they’d taken cover behind. McCree shot him a look, knowing that he had been closer to the other side, but with the mask, in place, it was impossible to tell what he was thinking, and with Hanzo rigid next to him he wasn’t going to ask.

“I think we need an eye in the sky,” he murmured, and Hanzo took a deep breath and nodded. Lifting his head to meet both their gazes, lowering his bow, for a second so that he could sign.

**_On your left._ **

    He repeated the gesture, making sure that Genji had understood it as well before he made a deliberate grunting noise. It sounded almost painful, and McCree could see that he was trying to look anywhere but at either of them as he did, even as he realised that if he focused it almost sounded like someone saying ‘left’, and with it came another realisation.

_The smoke in the air was intensifying, and McCree knew that they were going to have to evacuate soon before it became too dangerous, but right now he could barely tell up from down and not just because it was now thick enough to obscure the twists and turns of the crates in the shipyard. The side of his face was tacky to the touch, his temple aching fiercely, and it was only stubbornness that was keeping him upright at this point. That and the knowledge that if he fell, the others might not be able to come back for him and he’d be damned if he bought it in this godforsaken shipyard. It didn’t mean that he would accept some help right about now, and even as he groped his way along the wall trying to find his way out of the maze, he reached up to tap his communicator._

_“Can anyone hear me?” Static greeted his query, and he wasn’t sure whether the problem was at his end, as the same blow that had led to the blood trickling down his face had torn the protective casing of the device, or if it meant that others had run into trouble too. He prayed it was the former._

**** _He came to a split in the path and hesitated for a second, before turning right. However, he had only taken a couple of steps when there was a burst of sound in his ear. It wasn’t words, or if it was, he couldn’t make them out, the static playing havoc with the sound or so he thought. Still, once his sluggish thoughts caught up with what was happening, he realised that it was a protest of sorts and hesitating for a second before he decided that he trusted whichever teammate was trying to communicate with him more than he trusted his own mind right now, he turned back and headed left…_

_Left._ Just like Hanzo had told him. It had been the archer who had greeted him at the edge of the crates, moving to his side and supporting him as it felt like he was about to cough up a lung. At the time he hadn’t realised and hadn’t asked. But now, watching and listening as Hanzo’s face contorted with concentration as he repeated the sound, he realised that he owed the archer for that warning, especially as it had come long before they had even been friends. However, that was a matter for later, because Hanzo was moving on.

**_On your right._ **

A different grunt, but again almost the word he was trying to say, and even as McCree memorised the sound, ready to listen for it above the sound of battle, he couldn’t help but imagine hearing it in the archer’s own voice, and he had a feeling Genji was imaging the same.

“I will tell the others.” It was the most the younger Shimada had said all day, and there was no trace of the edge that had been present before. Then he was gone, darting across the way, as Angela and Lena lay down covering fire as they spied his movement.

    McCree caught a fleeting glimpse of Hanzo’s eyes growing wide, before the archer was gone too, climbing upwards with a grace that McCree envied. It was tempting to watch him all the way, but they were here to train and to prove a point, and he wouldn’t be the reason that Hanzo wasn’t permitted back in the field, and with a sigh and a growl, he checked his communicator to map out where they needed to go. Wondering how much time Winston had spent with Reyes and Jack in the past, because the cache wasn’t at the furthest possible point as you would expect, but relatively close, which was more worrying because that usually meant traps.

“Let’s get this show on the road _,”_ he said, tapping the communicator. It was the only warning he gave the others before stepping out into the street and opening fire, grinning as he heard Angela cursing quietly, before the beam of her staff locked onto him, blue surrounding him as the bots began to fall with high-pitched squeals.

   McCree had to admit that he had training like this. On the run, the most he had been able to use was local shooting ranges depending on where he was, or more often, whatever he could find to shoot at. It was nice to be back here. To know that what they were facing was the closest possible approximation to the scenarios they would find in the field, albeit nowhere near as chaotic, although he had a feeling that given time and with enough access to their current fights in the field Athena would be able to replicate that too. He wasn’t as young as he had been the first time, he’d faced something like this, but the rush that filled him was similar, a grin spreading across his face, especially as he saw four bots that had just surged out of another building to join the others go down under the careful placement of a scatter arrow. “Nice shot, partner.” He murmured, before downing two more bots, making a note to ask Winston to silence them next time, as there was something too pathetic about the noises they made as they fell.

 _“I’m going ahead!”_ Lena shouted, and he caught sight of the blue light of her chronal accelerator as she blitzed through the bots, forced to lunge to the side as the red beam of sniper rifle lit on her position. However, barely two seconds later, the bot that McCree had just located on the roof of a neighbouring building toppled and fell with an arrow buried deep in its optic. She flung a jaunty wave in the direction of the sky, unsure of Hanzo’s exact position before darting off again and McCree made to follow her, Angela in tow. Only to be cut off as there was a muffled explosion, and the building that the sniper had been perched on began to crumble.

“Genji!”

 _“Understood!”_ Genji was fast, almost seeming to dance through the falling rubble before disappearing from the site, as the building crashed down in front of them leaving McCree and Angela on one side with almost two dozen bots, although several were listing to the side, damaged by the falling rubble.

“Ah, yes,” Angela’s beam switched to yellow as they ducked behind a corner for a moment, and McCree blinked, startled to realise his arm had been grazed at some point. “Chaos as usual.”

“It wouldn’t be fun otherwise,” McCree joked, reloading as he peeked around the corner. The bots were moving closer, scanning the area, almost perfectly lined up for a deadeye.

“You clearly spent far too much time with Jack and…” Angela trailed off, her retort lost as they both stiffened at her words, and when she continued, it was in a small voice. “Sorry.” McCree sighed and glanced back at her, still keeping half an eye on the bots. Although they seemed to be the usual training bots, he wouldn’t put it past Winston to have forgotten to mention that they had been upgraded. Like that time he had tried to introduce an imitation of Doomfist’s gauntlet, which had seen the bot in question tear through the training range wall and several others before they’d managed to stop it.

“I think Ana was a worse influence.”

“Don’t tell Fareeha that,” Angela murmured, relaxing at the teasing comeback and McCree shot her an appalled look at the very suggestion.

“I value my life too much,” he pointed out. “Besides…” A loud grunt over the communicator caught his attention, and his head whipped around just in time for a sonic arrow to light up the street on the other side of them, showing the outline of a dozen or so more bots and what looked worryingly like a Bastion and OR14 amalgamation from what he could see of the shape. He cursed under his breath, before glancing at Angela. “Let’s clear up here, Doc. Winston and Athena seem to have broken out the nasty stuff today.”

“Worried?” There was a world of meaning to that question, and he knew that she wasn’t just referring to the battle part of the simulation and there was no hesitation at all as he tilted his head to where the glow of the sonic arrow was just beginning to fade.

“No.”

“Good.” The light around him turned blue once more and taking a last glance at the approaching reinforcements he stepped out into the open once more. This time letting the world, and his lingering worries about Hanzo and the outcome of the training disappear, seeking the calm that Ana had spent so long drilling into him, his eye burning. He had tried to describe the sensation once, but it was hard when he had never felt anything quite like it. It was like being able to see everything and nothing at once, the entire world muted around him, narrowed down to crimson points, and he was never sure if it was blood or the burning in his eye. Just that it was all-consuming and unnerving, and there was a moment, just before he pulled the trigger where he whispered a prayer before thunder erupted in the air around him.

    And when the world came back into focus, all the bots that had been trapped with them were on the ground, the final one twitching until Angela shot it. She patted his shoulder, all of them having learned long ago that touch helped to ground him after using Deadeye, but there was no time for anything else, as they heard Stormbow singing from up above. Catching the brief shadow of Hanzo’s movement as the archer rained rapid shot after rapid shot, at the bots now coming at them from the other direction. Despite the rate of fire, and distance, not a single shot was missed, and McCree narrowed his eyes, wondering whether the other man had actually been holding back during their competitions, or whether the need to prove himself had heightened Hanzo’s focus.

“Genji. Lena. Any luck?” He demanded, even as he and Angela turned to face the new threat. Both of them shooting the first bot at the same time, its head disappearing before it could even protest its demise. “I’d like to end this quickly. Winston’s broken out the nasty stuff.” The last ended in a curse, as the bot he’d seen before came into sight – it moved and stood at the same height as an OR14, but the sentry guns and tank muzzle were that of a Bastion, and he was seriously going to need to talk to Winston about his experiments once this was over. “Move.” He shouted to Angela, practically pushing her to the ground as a tank round shot over their head, demolishing the wall behind them, his hat knocked aside as debris rolled over them.

 _“We…”_ Genji’s voice crackled, the words lost in the sound. _“Heavily…. guarded….”_ They didn’t need to hear anymore, knowing that was the ninja’s way of saying they needed help without coming right out and saying it.

“Hanzo, the other’s need help!” McCree shouted, rolling back to his feet and emptying a full clip into the oncoming monstrosity as Angela boosted him again, but it barely seemed to dent it. More arrows rained down from above, thinning the ranks of the weaker level bots, but still barely seeming to faze the main one. “Go!” He repeated.

    He half expected a grunt of protest, or something similar. What he hadn’t expected was the entire building to rumble, as the sky above them turned blue. Angela gasping behind him as Hanzo’s Dragons roared through the air towards them, giant maw’s opening wide, and it was only the fact that he had seen them in action before and knew they weren’t targeting them that stopped McCree’s instinctual reaction to duck. Instead, watching in awe as they tore through Winston’s latest creation, before disappearing into the ground beneath. For a terrifying moment, it didn’t seem to have worked, but then it began to collapse in on itself, all screeching metal and high-pitched beeps before it went dark.

    A quick glance up showed that the edge of the roof was empty, and McCree realised that the archer must’ve been moving even as he fired. Doing what he could to help both teams, and he made a note to talk to Hanzo about that when they were in private. He remembered all too well what it was to try too hard to earn his place, and to take risks to achieve it, and refused to lose the archer because of that. It seemed like Angela’s thoughts had taken a similar path as her lips were pursed, even as she turned and fired at one of the smaller bots, reminding him that they weren’t out of danger just yet.

*

     His previous thought that Winston and Athena had gone all out with the simulation this time returned with a vengeance, as it seemed that no matter how many bots they took down, more arrived to take their place. Both of them had taken some shots, their communicators registering the hits, but nothing had been declared critical or fatal. That didn’t stop the exhaustion nipping at their heals, or the sting of the injuries. None of the bots was armed with anything that would do more than minor cuts – the pain supposed to teach them not to be there, or something like that. Reyes had gone into a whole spiel about it after a recruit had complained about the training actually injuring them, and while McCree had held similar complaints, he’d understood the reasoning. It didn’t stop him from grimacing as a fresh cut opened across his cheek, only to be chased away by Angela’s healing beam, something that the bots seemed to finally notice as the next volley was aimed at her. And he had just heard her grunt in pain when the scene seemed to freeze, every bot flashing blue before Athena’s voice rang out, this time over the primary system.

“Simulation complete. Mission successful with no casualties. All results are being tallied.”

    There was a pause, and then the scene flickered and began to fade away. What had felt and smelled, and looked like real debris fading from view, as the walls that had risen up earlier sank back under the floor until they were back in the training range, they used every day. McCree was breathing heavily, but he had other concerns, turning around to see Lena, Genji and Hanzo stood close together on the far side of the room, looking equally ragged. Meeting his gaze, Hanzo slowly held up the glistening sphere that had been designated as the target, before turning to look at Winston who cleared his voice, actually looking sheepish as he gestured at the screen that tracked their performances. If Hanzo holding the target hadn’t been proof enough of his competence, seeing his name at the top of the rankings, although only three ‘kills’ above McCree, was the icing on the cake and the gunslinger grinned and whistled appreciatively.

“I believe you have your answer,” Angela was the one to speak up, voice stern as she met Winston’s gaze, before locking onto the others and flying across to patch them up. Winston coughed, fiddling with his glasses as he always did when embarrassed or caught off guard, before he moved forward, looking across at Hanzo.

“You are cleared for active duty, effective immediately,” he declared. “I…I would like to apologise for my earlier decision.”

     Hanzo looked startled by the apology, and McCree wasn’t sure if it was because he had been focused on the first part, especially when Lena had whooped triumphantly at the announcement, or if he had just never expected it. He suspected the latter, even as he nodded approvingly at the apology as Winston glanced at him. “For the time being, I believe it will be easier to partner you with McCree or Angela when you are in the field where possible.” McCree’s eyebrows rose, not disapproving, but noting that Genji’s name hadn’t been mentioned, although it was impossible to miss the lingering tension between the brothers. He also half expected Hanzo to protest, not wanting to limit them in any way, but there was a hint of relief in the dark eyes that met his gaze.

“I look forward to it,” he called, moving to retrieve his hat which was now lying abandoned on the floor, dusting it off before setting it back on his head. “Also, Winston… I see you’ve been tinkering with the bots.”

“Ah yes,” Winston beamed, and then seemed to realise that they were all glowering at him. Not truly angry, but disgruntled, and no doubt remembering the numerous mishaps they’d had before and subsiding.  “I will show you the designs for them at some point.” He blustered, before making some excuse about needing to go over all their leads to work out where to send them next, all but scurrying from the room.

“I fear what else he has hidden away,” Angela muttered, as she finished patching up the others, smiling at Lena as the younger woman made a dismayed protest as she realised the doctor had healed up the lingering injuries from the mission too. “Who is the doctor here?” She demanded, arching an eyebrow at Lena who immediately fell silent, recognising the tone as the same one that had once sent the Strike Commander bolting out of the infirmary.

*

    Angela was the first to leave a few minutes later, muttering something about still having work to do, and having caught a glimpse of her office McCree wasn’t going to argue for fear of getting roped in to help her. Lena followed after her, declaring she needed food and then a nap, although the knowing look she shot at Genji and Hanzo who was still stood awkwardly near one another, told him that she was trying to give them space.

    He almost wished he’d followed them, as the silence grew more awkward, a ribbon of tension now drawn taut. In the end, it was Hanzo who moved first, stepping forward as though to head towards him, only for Genji’s hand to shoot out and grab his wrist, holding him in place. “I would like to speak to you, brother…” It was the gentlest that Genji had sounded towards Hanzo for weeks now, and it was impossible to miss the hesitation in his voice. As though he was bracing himself for rejection, but McCree had seen Hanzo’s expression as soon as Genji had said ‘brother’ and knew that Hanzo was going to plunge into this even if he wasn’t ready.

“Do you want me to stay?” McCree asked. He might have preferred for them to wait for this conversation, but he wasn’t going to intervene, but nor was he going to leave Hanzo without making sure it was what he wanted, ignoring the way Genji’s head turned towards him. He hadn’t forgotten their last proper conversation after Genji had overheard him and Angela, and he wasn’t keen for a repeat of that situation.

**_No._ **

    It was blunt in its own way, but the look in Hanzo’s eyes as their eyes met spoke volumes. There was gratitude for the offer, but also determination. He wanted to face this alone, and McCree sighed but nodded. “I’ll be in our quarters when you’re done.” The ‘ _our’_ was deliberate. They hadn’t really talked about what they were now, or the fact that Hanzo had more or less moved into his rooms, but he wanted to remind Hanzo that he had somewhere to return to if this conversation went poorly.

 ** _You’re in charge of dinner,_** Hanzo signed back, a slight smile on his lips as he tilted his head to where the scores were still projected and McCree groaned good-naturedly before nodding, and reluctantly heading for the door.

    Just before he stepped out of the room, he glanced back, watching as Genji lifted his helmet and moved closer to his brother and he forced himself to keep going. Praying that this wasn’t going to make things worse.


End file.
